Hi K, I have a spouse that will deny with everything he's got. And when that doesn't work, he starts to attack and belittle, and ... well you get it. Having come from abuse from a previous marriage, and from multiple employers, I feel like I finally graduated from the abuse cycle. There are two things that work for me: Setting clear boundaries and detaching with love.

Example: I pointed out to my husband that we've lost some fish in the pond; there were only about 12 left out of 15. He said flatly "No, there were never 15 fish. There were only 12...maybe 13". No big deal except I can count. lol When I asked if he realized he had just insulting me by telling me I can't count, he denied he every said it. He told me it was merely a difference of opinion. I replied that I could count. Seriously. At which point he said "I can't believe you're arguing about fish." sigh I assured him that wasn't it. He continued to get nastier and nastier. That's when I whipped out my boundary. >In order for us to live together, you must be nice to me.