Anonymous wrote:

Your post gives one some reason for optimism that people with similar patterns can actually change. Good for you, good for everyone close to you.

I found your last line interesting and very thought provoking—you found the process of owning up to your own mistakes an act of compassion for yourself. Can you elaborate on that at all? I can sense that the people close to me (large family of 5 grown siblings, plus an ex husband) are actually quite fragile, but it’s incredibly difficult to feel compassion for them when they turn their ire on me, ie, blaming me for things they have done (projecting), and the horrifying scapegoating that I have been subjected to.

I know that the reason these things happen is due to their own weaknesses and pain, but it’s so hard to feel compassion when they have hurt me so profoundly. I’d really appreciate any insight you can share.

Thanks again for such an inspirational post. Perhaps there is hope.

I'm glad someone asked this, because this is what I need help with too. This article helped me understand what's going on with my ex-husband.

I need to help my kids understand what's going in as he also had custody of them for 4 yrs and tried to alienate them from me.