I never comment on these things but I could have written your comment myself so I wanted to respond. You're not alone in feeling like this. I don't have any words of wisdom or suggestions for how to make it better, but I've been struggling with the exact same way of thinking. It's an incredibly difficult place to be, knowing how much we need that deep connection to feel whole and feeling like we're never any closer to getting it. Some days are easier than others. I live by "opportunities not obstacles". Keep moving forward. Set backs are only in our heads because at the end of any experience, we're not the same person as we were going into it. And when (not if, *when*) you find the person to build that fulfilling relationship with, this pain you're dealing with now will seem so small and you'll be able to breathe again.