There are ways to temper your toughest critic and take constructive control of your feelings.
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I lost my young son in a motorcycle accident in 2015. Since I think Christianity is true, I'm comforted by it. Yet I have observed terrible theology and philosophy rampant among the bereaved. They comfort themselves with fanciful images of deceased loved ones "playing ping pong with St. Peter". And they often have no grasp on the Problem of Evil (how a good God may have good reasons for allowing evil).
I miss my son profoundly. But I think there are solid historical grounds for believing the resurrection of Christ. Biblical theology indicates my son is conscious in a temporary immaterial state. This is not at odds with neurology nor philosophical dualism. Scripture also says there will be a future physical resurrection. Reasonable faith brings me comfort. Blind faith is a mere placebo.
Love is not directed at just a body, soul, or mind, but at an embodied person.
Cats, dogs, and other animals show evidence of grieving.
Consciousness may have originated with humans, mammals, fish, or bacteria.
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