I'm an introvert and being introverted sucks^1000. Why? Because I've been single my WHOLE life. I'm 26. Is it because I'm ugly, fat, retarded? No.

It's because I don't feel like small talk, mingling, going to social gatherings where you don't really know many people, approaching strangers, being the life of the party, etc. You know, all the things that are REQUIRED to get out there to meet women.

Everyone (all the extroverts that is) say that I'm "shy". No, I'm not shy and I can prove it:

Years ago I did the whole "Pick-up Artist" thing (AKA cold approach) for a while in order to meet women. Part of my training included going to the shopping mall and saying hi to every attractive girl I met. So I killed that fear of approach.

But after a year and a half of cold approach and trying to attract women I was miserable. I felt so sick I didn't want to approach a single girl again. Yet I knew what to say, how to say it, and what to do, but I just didn't feel like it. Of course, I didn't get a girlfriend because a lot of the woman that I attracted were psychos. I've turned down a lot of women because I didn't like them, too extroverted.

Another part of attracting women also involves kino (non-sexual touching like touching a hand on an arm while sitting face to face). And I couldn't force my self to kino because it makes me sick, I don't like being touched and I don't like touching other people. Yet it's always necessary to take a date to the next level. Extroverts do it without even noticing.

So I couldn't figure out why I was feeling this way. I ended up being depressed. It wasn't until I took the MBTI test while attending a procrastination workshop in grad school that I learned what it meant to be an introvert. I finally understood why all those years going to parties and meeting new people made me so drained and apprehensive.

So I quit that and slowly crawled back into my shell. Years later, I'm still single, and it's gotten to the point where it looks like I'll be that way forever.

I've been looking for books on how to find and attract women AS an introvert, without betraying yourself and pretending to be an extrovert like I did in the past. Yet all I find are stupid books that tell you how to be happy as introvert or praise losers like van Gogh and how these introverts are so "valued" in society. Give me a break! Van Gogh was a lunatic who lived a miserable, lonely existence, only sold one painting for peanuts then chopped his ear off and killed himself. Hurray! Let's all celebrate being rejects!

Some books even read about how fun it is being alone. Just because I'm an introvert and like to spend time alone doesn't mean I want to be single forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grad school doesn't help because most of the people in my program are introverts. There's only one professor in my discipline that's an extrovert. It's a very awckward social environment, there are some real autistic professors. Some of professors are also completely single and hopeless. Being in that environment is very comfortable, but too bad my program is mostly all male!!!! I wouldn't want to really mess with an introverted woman anyways because it's not fun to try to get to know one. The guys that do have a girlfriend or wife found them by some miracle, I haven't been able to figure out how that works.

I can't find any decent books that can help me, none. And I've been scouring the internet and came across this corner of Psychology Today. What a joke. Dozens of useless articles but none that help me.


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