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Two things especially: there is a normal amount of jealousy. It may even be a healthy emotion that has ensured our survival as a species.
Secondly, I’ve heard other people say what you mentioned “wouldn’t it be great if your partner had no jealousy and we could all be free to have other romantic and sexual relationships?”
My answer is the same as yours — not at all. It would feel horrible and if my wife didn’t care who I had sex with, I would call a divorce lawyer.
Yes, there’s toxic jealousy that may have no basis in fact and can ruin lives. But jealousy on its own is a neutral emotion like any other natural human emotion.
Last point — adults should form whatever kinds of romantic and sexual relationships they want, as long as they aren’t hurting other people. But it appears that some people, particularly those who claim a polyamorous “orientation” feel that their relationships are more mature and that either having no jealousy or working to overcome is some kind of platonic ideal. I think that’s actually a juvenile and immature attitude to have about other people.
Which flavor of envy are you experiencing?
How to build trust together.
Are your rules about relationships realistic?
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