Not saying to flatter, but, rather, to be somewhat neutral.
At the same time, one must defend one's boundaries. So, the NPD demands you do what she wishes--here, you must set your boundary. That's all I am saying. Otherwise, she will run all over you. She says: "Do this; do that." You say: "No, I have other plans." She says: "What plans?" You say: "Pre-arranged plans I can't get out of. I wish you well. See you later."

More Posts