Experts suggest ways to correct habits that keep us from resting well
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There is a full blown narcissist in my family and I did fall into the trap of placating them like described in the article. It just became a habit while growing up to avoid making the narcissist angry amd violent. The problem is that tolerance and indulgence made the narcissist more entitled so as I started setting boundaries as an adult (telling her she is not allowed to mess with the car controls when I am driving, or wake me up several times every night for frivolous reasons) the narcissist saw any attempt to control my own life as abusing her. She felt entitled to use me as she pleased so the more I tried to have my own life, the more she believed she was being wronged and became more violent and dishonest in her attempts to regain control over me. If you become angy when she yells at you or hits you, you will also get labeled as bad tempered and called a narcissist.
The part of the article I don't agree with is flattering the narcissist to keep the peace. The narcissist in my life became this way because a bad parent flattered her and convinced her she was a genius who didn't need to work hard or follow the rules. Her narcissistic injury occurred when the world treated her as if she was normal. I believe flattery feeds the condition and increases their insatiable hunger for admiration and will blow up in your face one day. I believe a narcissist should be confronted with the truth and shown no tolerance when they behave inappropriately. Standing up to the narcissist does increase the personal attacks and increases their hatred over time. I just try to remind myself she is a grandiose idiot who needs me as an audience and refuse to be her supply. Today, she us yelling curses over and over to try to get to me and I just think she is a psthetic loser who doesn't deserve acknowledgement.
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