I'm surprised to see a writer for this magazine implying that we can't change ourselves, when how and when to do so is a standard concern of much psychology. If people choose not to change for a partner, or if a certain necessary change is against a person's values, that is one thing. But the idea that it simply is not possible is something else. As in the joke about believing in infant baptism, I'd have to say I believe in people changing themselves--including to improve oneself and one's relationships--because I have seen it done.

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