Anonymous wrote:

Unfortunately, words have meanings. The word for men who enjoy sex with both genders is bisexual. This idea that men would want to compartmentalize their homosexual tendencies as "reliving their trauma" seems unhealthy. If you enjoy sex with men, you're not heterosexual. And that's okay.

The problem is you want a different meaning for words, that's all. That's all your argument is. You can call it anything you want, including orange bananas. The issue here, in case you totally missed it, is that hetero men can apparently engage in same-sex activities with a totally different mindset of attraction than a person who is considered "gay" as the author means it. All you're quibbling with is that you call both activites gay. Well, OK that's fine, we don't really care what you want to call it. All you're telling us is that you want to define it by what you do. The author wants to define it as a fundamental state of mind, which has actually has real outward consequences, one of which could be, as the author would contend, that a person who is not gay in this case can easily live a hetero life without feeling he's missing something later. Many gay (as the author defines it, not as you define it) people could not feel that way, ever.

The problem with your "mechanical" or "technical" definition of gay or bisexual is that many boys have in their early years participated in circle jerks and briefly engaged in same-sex experimentation. Your technical would then require that a vast number of men would therefore have to be classified as "bisexual". But most of them, as adults with no interest in same-sex activity, would strongly disagree and consider your definition pointless, uninsightful, and unconstructive.

wrote:

Our orientations are formed in many ways through many experiences--you don't go to therapy searching for the reasons for your heterosexual leanings, do you? No? So why do that for your gay feelings... unless you're implying that being gay is a mental illness or otherwise a troubling abnormality?

You go to therapy for ANYTHING that concerns you, period. If you feel you should be gay when you're not, or if you feel you should be straight when you're not. If you feel great being gay and you are, you don't need therapy.

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