Dreams have been described as dress rehearsals for real life, opportunities to gratify wishes, and a form of nocturnal therapy. A new theory aims to make sense of it all.
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I would like to add the importance of non sexual contact. In my experience, I see women physically touch each other quite freely but that's not true with men. It feels like my partner drinks up physical touch outside the bedroom. He/we enjoy when I walk past him and touch his shoulder or arm or some other "safe" place. Holding hands as we walk from the car into a restaurant. An impromptu hug.
This additional physical contact has allowed him to feel safe enough to open up and speak freely with me about his feelings. It's like his walls have come down and he trusts me. Men may not be the greatest communicators and I believe women should listen carefully when their guy opens up. I focus more on the emotion and less on the words. What is he trying to convey, what does he want only me to know? I never reply right away. I give him time to continue his thoughts.
When I speak, I keep in mind that men are "fixers". What do I want him to do about whatever I'm talking about. If I just want him to listen, I say so. If he seems uncomfortable, not knowing what to say or do, I get closer to him and ask for a hug. He "fixed" it for me and we both feel good.
We don't need each other for any tangible reason; we've made our way in the world for 50+ years just fine thank you. We need each other on a deeper/emotional level. We choose to be together because we want to be together.
How many ways can you let your partner know that you love and care? Use less words and more physical actions. Get on the couch with him and put his arm around you, let him touch your skin, touch his. It is a bold move! Give what you want to receive. Thank him with a sweet kiss for changing the light bulb. Of course you could have done it yourself but your partner did it for you. Remember: Inconsideration is the silent killer of relationships.
Will we burn out in a year? We might. We have had wonderful, deep, emotional conversations, physical touch, that fantastic release of dopamine and oxytocin from being in love. If it ends tomorrow, I am still better for the experience.
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