I have ptsd because of mental and psychological and verbal abuse from several husbands, mother and my siblings. I go to alanon but am sick of the 12 steps and revisiting my trauma over and over again. It's like when I go there now instead of it helping, it's causing e more tension and anxiety. I also have trouble with male relationships. I meet some who are entirely closed up and I obsessed with them in very unhealthy ways. I'd like to attend as the spiritual program is awesome but I get caught up into ptsd with a man there who is not healthy for me. Guess I've got some decisions to make to stay out of that meeting, darn.