Experts suggest ways to correct habits that keep us from resting well
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My ex-bf rejected my sexual advances so often that in order to cope with the rejection I attempted to convince myself I didn't like sex, that I didn't 'need' it, and I was asexual. It didn't work. I just became bitter and resentful. I was always mad or sad. I felt ugly and my self esteem plummeted. He had major clinical depression. So I tried my best to be understanding and just told myself having a sexless relationship was fine because I loved him and love is more than just sex. Only time we had sex was when he wanted it. I never said no, because I hardly got any so I was always ready to go. But I felt so pathetic for being so eager, that I would feel guilty for wanting or liking sex. I also felt guilty that I wasn't more understanding of his depression. It was just an endless cycle. Honestly, constantly rejecting your lover's sexual advances and only having sex when that one person wants it, is definitely something I would consider to be a form of psychological and emotional abuse. We ended up breaking up for other reasons; he didn't want marriage or kids, and I do. I guess I was tired of being the one to give up what I wanted/liked to be in a relationship that was no longer making me happy. Just wish it didn't take me 5 years to realize that. So my advice to anyone in a sexless relationship with someone who does not have the same goals as you, and you can't remember the last time you were happy, is to just leave. Life is too short!
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