It surprises me that there is actually so little literature on the role of rejection in relationships. I think of my wife as that special woman who has rejected me thousands of times more than any other. Early in our marriage, I started avoiding going to sleep together to avoid that awkward moment, shifting first to 15 mins later, but far more over time (to avoid nasty reactions about waking her up). Eventually I stopped any show of affection, because any such gestures made me lfeel ike a loser and a sucker. In the end, when the youngest were in high school, I avoided coming home evenings as much as possible, staying at work, to avoid the depressing disagreeableness. It has had a hugely destructive influence on the family and the children, since the family is basically a "community" of unlove and irritation. I now regard sex generally as something completely impersonal.

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