Thanks for this post. It's been a real eye opener. For the longest time, my mother-in-law would say the cruelest things to me in private, but when my husband would confront her she would act as if I simply misunderstood. I've decided to keep my distance from her at all cost, it's not worth the misery her presence causes. This has worked for 20 years of marriage but now I don't know what to do...my father-in-law recently died and I can no longer avoid her. I wish I knew what to do.

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