I am losing my mind trying to keep a family home barely habitable. The article saying people in cleaner houses are healthier just makes me more frantic.

A sibling who co-owns the family home makes extreme messes and refuses to clean up. She buys expensive things and kitchen gadgets that gets ruined from being left in dirty dishwater or covered in her dog's urine and she won't help clean or let me throw out these things (but she wants to throw out things I use for my job).

She is not a hoarder, but I suspect adhd and pathelogical narcissism because of her chronic recklessness, violent behaviors, and verbal abuse. One issue I am trying to resolve are oil dispensors that she left in dirty dishwater over 2 years go. The inside of the bottles got coated with a film of rotting food that I cannot reach with bottle brushes. I constantly try to remove the film with household chemicals but nothing works. She will not let me throw away these dirty bottles so they have sat in the sink more than two years. The house is insafe with clutter that is sticky with urine from her incontinent dog and overlooked bits of poop. Her dog's health problems make her feel entitled to not clean up after him or herself.

I cannot leave due to complicated reasons. Is there a way to make someone like this clean up and do things like washing at least some of the dishes they use? And mop dog urine and properly clan poop? She is very entitled and has temper tantrums because she doesn't like living in the messes she makes. I am completely losing my mind and I want to smash all the dirty glass bottles that have been in the sink for two years. I regularly have to choose to do extreme cleaning over having a personal life or fulfillimg other family responsibilities?

What can be done to motivate or shame such a person in to borderline decency? Can a person be forced to get treatment if they deny that they are mentally ill but do things that harm family members and pets?