Experts suggest ways to correct habits that keep us from resting well
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I see you and your guy have a large age gap like my wife and I. Yes, you should have hope. But even more so, you should realize that he probably has hope too. You need to understand that older women have so much to offer younger men, it is so far from being a one way street. And you need to know, that your guy knows this as well.
I don't know how long the two of you have been together or how young he was when you got together. I don't know how emotionally mature he is. At 22, I was very emotionally immature, because I truly believe the drugs and alcohol had stunted my emotional growth, even though I had sobered up and had begun straightening out my life with her help. This, on top of her history of always being in my life, well, it's obvious that she was a mother figure to me. Even though our relationship changed after we got married, that aspect didn't change and is still there to this day. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think age-gap couples are kidding themselves when they try to say their just like traditional age couples. Keep your expectations of emotional maturity real and don't over estimate it.
I'm 42 and my wife is 74. I'm working hard and making good money. She's retired and she depends on me, but at the same time, I really depend on her. We don't confuse responsibility with maturity.
I enjoy my marriage now, but I have to say I have a lot of fond memories about our early years, because it was a coming of age thing for me...and for her, learning to deal with my reactions to new experiences. She had already been there and done things I was just experiencing for the first time. Sometimes, she guided me to making better decisions, like the time I thought I wanted to be more of a grown-up and smoke like her and my mom. Other times, she let took a seat on the sidelines and never told me how the story would end, even though she'd already lived a similar story and could easily tell me.
I'm very good at remembering the feelings I've experienced during the evolution of our relationship, as the younger partner. But she experienced a lot of feelings too, and many of them were very difficult. People can be so cruel and judgemental about somebody else's life. My wife's faith in God has always been very strong, and she helped me to have her faith. What I'm trying to say is, people may tell you something is wrong, but God may tell you it's right and he wants it for you. That conflict can make for tough times.
Like I said or should have said, my wife means everything to me. She's my best friend and much more. I also want to add that we both treasure and enjoy our age gap, sexually speaking, our age difference is an asset rather than a liability. We still make love with the lights on. Life is good!
Tips on difficult conversations.
Contrarian career counseling slogans I use in the course I'm teaching.
I’ll be giving these thoughts to my graduate students tonight.
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