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Sunny - I couldn't possibly agree with you more - especially the last sentence of your comment which was, "I'm sharing this because too often we forgive before we've done all of the emotional processing and internalizing these feelings is slow poison."
I keep hearing how vitally important it is to forgive those who have wronged or hurt you, but I just feel like forgiving a person who has hurt / deceived / wronged / humiliated / betrayed / abandoned / corrupted / maligned you in a way that has damaged you to the very core is quite dispiriting, and feels somewhat demoralizing to me.
Don't get me wrong it's a very nice sentiment, but I feel it errors a bit on being unrealistically quixotic, not to mention how it sort of evades them of all the ruthlessly cold-blooded damage they have single handedly inflicted.
They aren't sorry - and they see no reason why they should ever be sorry... Why - in the world should someone like this be forgiven???
That said - I understand the importance of letting go - letting go of the hurt, the anger, the resentment, and the grudge that can ultimately rob you of your ability to carry on with life, but to actually "forgive"?
I am so grateful to Peg for opening the doors for all of us to realize that we are not alone in this. This is definitely not an easy journey - I myself am just beginning to take my own first steps through all sorts of painful realizations that I have to find a way to come to grips with...
You were so right when you said how the emotional processing and internalizing of these feelings is a slow poison... It really couldn't have been said any better than that my friend.
Peace, healing and happiness to you Sunny .. Take care!
Sometimes, the words "I'm sorry" are just part of the narcissist's game
Once you see them, you'll be better equipped to deal.
For some, this is the most stressful day of the year.
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