There are ways to temper your toughest critic and take constructive control of your feelings.
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Everything was fine between my friend and me, or I thought it was, until my friend's aunt died. I was friendly with the aunt but wasn't told of her death. Instead, my friend and her immediate family reached out to their extended family during/after the death and insisted on them attending the funeral. Many of these extended family members hadn't been in communication with my friend for decades. It left a lot of hurt feelings. It was during this time that this "family member", I'll call her Kathy entered the picture.
Kathy convinced my friend to attempt to swindle an insurance company. I didn't hear anything about this until after the damage was done. My friend was caught and the move cost her and her immediate family thousands of dollars they didn't have. Then Kathy convinced my friend to sue two hospitals and a transportation company, and hooked my friend up with a lawyer. These lawsuits went nowhere.
The worse things went for my friend the more Kathy convinced my friend that the problem was with everyone else, and they were victims. I believe my name may have come up during this time. I didn't find out about all the litigation until things started to go wrong. I would have advised against all of it, as I knew there wasn't a case for any lawsuit.
I don't care for these new ethics. I've never met Kathy as she is merely a person on the other end of Facebook for my friend. I've seen her posts on social media and believe she has a bit of a mean streak.
In a completely different realm, something happened to me recently that has given me a plausible excuse to pull back from the friendship. I sat down with my friend and explained the issue and she understood. I'd rather just give her some space to either become better friends with Kathy or figure out how damaging Kathy is.
I did think about this quite a bit. After I had the talk with my friend I feel like a big weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I no longer have to worry about what I say, or whether anything I do or talk about will make it's way back to Kathy for a dissection.
If my friend ever pulls away from Kathy I'll worry about what to do at that point. Right now I'm enjoying the peace.
Have you had yet this most important conversation with your kids?
No need for divorce for one parent to selfishly turn the kids against the other.
Can a daughter who was molested by her father ever forgive him? And if so, how?
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