Sounds like your wife wants to leave you and you are trying to force her to stay, and find someone to blame for it. The truth is that she has a perfect right to leave you and the only person any adult owes anything to is their child. But when those children come with an ex partner who won't stop trying to control someone and trying to force them to stay somewhere they are utterly miserable, sometimes the children suffer.

Let her go, move on, build an amicable parenting partnership with her. Get yourself some therapy to understand that people are allowed to be happy and being happy sometimes means not being with a partner they don't want to be around. That's just life.

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