Hi, I don't think this directly relates to your article, but I was hoping you could speak to an interpersonal aikido problem I've been having.

I've been dating my sempai for over a year now, and somehow I can't tolerate being taught by him. He has a lot of knowledge and technique I'd like to emulate, and he enjoys teaching, and I enjoy learning, so it ought to be a good match in that respect (it's an amazing match in every other respect). But it isn't. He'll mention something for me to change, and suddenly I feel like if I do that, he'll be in control of the technique, not me, and that's not acceptable.

Obviously, if I could stop thinking in black-and-white, control-and-controlled terms, the problem would disappear. I don't have that kind of struggle for dominance with any of my other sempai on the mat. Why am I so aggressive and uncooperative with him, specifically? More importantly, how do I untangle this?

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