Juliet wrote:

(render victim powerless, tell them it's all their fault, tell them how defective and wrong they are, make them apologize...)

I'm not sure which AA group you went to, but that hasn't been my experience with AA at all.

Do they say "powerless over alcohol?" Yes, in the sense that I had tried to stop drinking on my own and had failed, so I could see that.

Do they say it is my fault? Quite the opposite.

Do they say I'm wrong and defective? Not really, but it tells me if I feel I have wrong and defective characteristics, I can change them, and that changing them might help me avoid drinking. Therapists do the same thing.

Do they make me apologize? Well, they don't make me do anything, but making amends to people I had harmed actually made me feel better and made my relationship with such people better. I don't see anything wrong with that.

My point is, there are many ways to get sober, and AA is just one of them that has helped many people. I definitely don't fault people that have had bad experiences. I realize I am lucky that I didn't run into people that proselytized or believed AA was somehow flawless or "God sent."

There are many of use that are quite agnostic, do not see the 12 steps as any thing but tools that help us become better people. And we see AA as a great place to find like minded people.

-- DK

More Posts