I tend to think of myself as very non-assertive but reading this I realised that those first three examples would never have occurred to me. There's no way I'd ever actually do or say something I didn't want to do. I have a lot of trouble with the last example, though. For me, no matter how many times it happens, it's such a shock for someone to be aggressive or rude that I'm just stunned into silence. My not piping up isn't even out of fear, it's just that I'm thrown so much I need some time to appreciate what has happened. I don't feel anything immediately either, that tends to come later. So it might be days before my head is even in the right place - and for me to have properly comprehended what happened - before I would be able to say something to them and still make sense. By then, I often decide it's inappropriately late to do so, but perhaps I should say something anyway.

What this article did help me with though was understanding the rather irritating - unfortunately - behaviour of some of my friends. They seem to blame others for every discomfort they feel. I had one explode at me for inviting her to something she didn't want to go to! Apparently I "should have known" it wouldn't be her thing, but actually I really thought it would be and simply thought she'd like to come hang out with me and our other friends. Another friend actually phones people up in anger if they ask her a favour she cannot complete at the time, and then she stays angry about it for months! She does not however actually tell the person who has asked the favour she is busy, she just expects that "they should know". I've never understood this behaviour, I've just found it to be hilariously unreasonable and bizarre - although obviously I never laugh in front of them. It had never occurred to me they were just being unassertive!!

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