I could not agree more, being a betrayed spouse who finally was told the truth. Our marriage was saved. It would have ended if the secret which caused my husband to be full of shame and guilt had continued. He was not himself. I thought I was causing him to be irritable. Once it was out in the open, yes, it was horrible pain for me. But I can now go back and figure out why things were the way they were- I had to rewrite my history a bit. Again, painful. We have children. But we have a deep love for each other and we are working hard to rebuild. It's absolutely worth it. We are all happier, including the kids. Living with a lie like that is no way to continue the marriage and very unfair to the betrayed spouse. Period. Give them the chance to decide if they want to stay married to someone who has betrayed them. Be fair.

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