Our eyes, gestures, and tone bring us together in a more profound way than words alone. It’s why we look hopefully toward the return of in-person, face-to-face connection.
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Creating life today with tomorrow in mind
Holly Parker, Ph.D.
Our commitment to truly standing against racism can’t be a spark in time that dwindles, but an ongoing way of living that is lifelong.
Among the tragedies that have emerged from this pandemic, there are a few bright spots, and in my view, the leap of telepsychology into mainstream use is definitely one of them.
As many partners spend more time together than ever, these conditions are shining a real light on a question that would have only been a hypothetical one before this pandemic.
Once we’ve figured out what kind of boredom we’re dealing with, then we can find out how to give ourselves what we need.
If you harshly criticize yourself, you’re not alone, and it’s not a failing on your part—even if the inner critic tells you it is.
Resolutions aren't a self-punishing exercise in pointlessness. Sometimes what gets in the way is how we pursue the changes we want, and research casts more light on this issue.
If we only look at how we behave toward our partner during conflict, science suggests that we’ll miss something else that’s worthy of attention: How we relate to our own emotions.
It's tempting to think that bogus news stories would be obvious to us. Yet research points to the sorry truth that we’re not quite as perceptive as we’d like to believe.
The time we make to connect with others and how we do so are both related to our wellness, making them deserving of attention and energy.
It's understandable that many people are not in a big hurry to try couples therapy. Here's why they might want to give it a shot anyway.
Researchers haven’t identified a way to prevent the wellness perks of vacation from waning, but they’ve been examining what's connected to how readily those perks wear off.
Even if our partner seems outwardly angry or nonchalant, we might want to consider the possibility that we’re only seeing the cover of a more fragile, concerned interior.
If I told you that gratitude is good for couples, this probably doesn’t seem all that surprising. But what kinds of specific advantages is it associated with?
We often believe that if we repeat the same experience, it’s going to lose its luster. But research suggests this isn't true.
When we self-expand, we widen our understanding of who we are, what we’re able to do, and how we view life. This is linked to relationship wellness.
When the goal is to stand out amid the dating throng, it’s human to feel tempted to lie a little to reduce our chances of being rejected.
When we accept distressing emotions as being a natural part of life, it’s ironically linked to experiencing them less and, in the long run, having better emotional health.
It's common to shift from wanting to speed up the clock to wishing it would slow down, and that’s understandable. Prevailing perspectives on aging are often unflattering.
It makes sense that we determine whether we’re "normal" by taking our cues from others. At the same time, there are a few reasons why we might want to do this judiciously.
Amid back-and-forth exchanges with a partner, relatives, friends, and colleagues, the window of opportunity to communicate in a clearer way is shrouded in obscurity at times.
What about giving someone a leg up in the good times? It’s natural to forget the importance of these moments, and yet they’re every bit as valuable in a relationship.
It’s not a piece of cake to manage powerful feelings without giving into them or shutting down, and the task of becoming a joined “we” while holding onto each “I” can be hazy.
How can interracial couples bolster one another and their bond from within as they encounter resistance and unjust treatment from without?
Sometimes what we think our partner wants and needs doesn’t map onto what they actually want or need. So how can we offer help that’s actually, well, helpful?
The notion of giving ourselves permission to walk through a pretend world for a while may seem a bit frivolous or fruitless. Why read stories when there’s so much to do?
Believe it or not, no matter how long two people have been together, there’s always room for a deeper connection, for more exploration, learning, and growth they can share.
So let’s say you’re willing to try showing yourself a little more self-compassion. How might you start?
If you’ve ever fallen for someone, you’ve probably confronted a basic human dilemma: self-exposure versus self-protection.
And that is where the cruel irony of this game comes in. Even as blaming offers a shield with one hand, it ultimately wounds with the other.
Conflict isn’t fun or delightful. It runs the gamut from mildly annoying to immensely distressing, and it can damage relationships. But is it intrinsically harmful?
Holly Parker, Ph.D. is a lecturer at Harvard University and a practicing psychologist and Associate Director of Training at the Edith Nourse Rogers Memorial Veterans Hospital.