Just Avoid It: Why Youth May Dodge Political Conversation

With Inauguration Day upon us, political talk continues to fill our offline and online gathering places. But many young people may just opt out.

In a recent study that explored the intersections of religion and politics for young people ages 13 to 25, Springtide Research Institute was curious to uncover what young people believe about politics, how they participate in civic life, and how their religious beliefs may inform political ones. When analyzing the interview responses from dozens of teens and young adults, the researchers noticed how many of the interviewees were opposed to sharing political beliefs or voicing opinions—not because they couldn’t defend their positions but due to the potential of causing rifts in relationships.

Springtide data shows time and time again the importance young people place on meaningful relationships, so the avoidance of potential conflict was noteworthy, especially since all relationships experience conflict at some point. While we can’t say why young people may have a reluctance to engage in this way, we do have some contextual clues just based on the environment:

• Our current society is one driven by constant change. The notions of certainty and stability (both real and perceived) by previous generations may not be as present for today’s young people.
• The ubiquity of technology, pressures to achieve, succeed, and “be something”—on top of a constantly swirling sense of uncertainty—could be enough to create an environment that fuels stress.

When young people find the relational elements they need to feel secure in relationships—safety, vulnerability, guidance, care, love, fellowship, support—they could understandably be hesitant to rock the boat.

Yet, the process of conflict and repair is core to our relationships. Healthy dialogue is core to our society. If young people show a growing reluctance to engage when it comes to certain relationships, that can have far-reaching implications—not only for individual happiness but also for our collective harmony.

Avoiding the conversation: What young people say

Springtide’s interviews showed young people tend to opt out of relational engagement that might result in conflict for three reasons: fear of social loss, fear of incivility, and fear of boundary violation.

Fear of social loss: Many young people are afraid of getting “canceled” and the loss of relationship that comes with it. Being canceled places you in an outgroup of sorts, but that sort of displacement also comes with an inherent judgment on one’s personhood. If self-esteem or self-worth is already shaky ground for a young person, one could see why they might not risk judgment from external parties.

Fear of incivility: Many of the young people Springtide spoke to viewed others as incapable of being honest, rational, or unable to control feelings when it came to political conversation (sometimes because they’ve actually witnessed it!), and so they avoid engaging to keep the relationship intact—especially if they couldn’t tell the other person’s political leanings. This speaks to the increasing polarization and radicalization in the culture and both real and perceived negative outcomes that can result in talking to someone with different views. Young people make assessments and if they deem it as a potential threat to one’s personal peace or harmony with others, they could bow out as a way to control their environment.

Fear of boundary violation: When there’s concern that a conflict might threaten one’s personal values, focusing on the sameness of relationship rather than the difference of beliefs allows some young people to downplay those differences and hopefully minimize any related conflict. But to do so is to deny themselves that need for authenticity and vulnerability in relationship—because in these scenarios they can’t really show up as their full selves. Over time, this could actually weaken the connection they’re trying to protect.

Whether or not these patterns will hold with young people as they age remains to be seen. Yet, it’s crucial that young people learn to engage in healthy conflict and have relationships where it feels safe enough to do so. With the rates of mental distress already being reported among young people, we need them to have a multitude of spaces where they can show up as their full selves—because that can have positive effects on their mental health.

To cultivate relational space for young people where they can engage in healthy conflict, adults can engage in active listening and respond with curiosity instead of judgment. They can practice neutrality when appropriate and challenge ideas in a respectful way. Perhaps most importantly, adults can engage in conversation without aggression and be able to admit the possibility of being wrong.

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Young people will have to navigate all sorts of relational conflict as they age, and it will be their responsibility to figure out how to do that. Yet, during this formative time of development, adults can take a larger share of the relational load and help provide spaces where it’s safe to engage potentially controversial political topics—and safe even to disagree.