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Well, it's happening: My new book, You'd Be So Pretty If...: Teaching Our Daughters to Love Their Bodies -- Even When We Don't Love Our Own, was finally released last week. And on Wednesday, my daughter and I were interviewed by Ann Curry on NBC's TODAY Show about our body image experiences. It's all a bit of a whirlwind and it's very exciting. But there's a part of me that's been afraid of this moment.
Let me explain...
If you've read the book, you know that it's quite revealing in terms of my own body image journey. I've spent years as a magazine journalist, writing about other people and their stories. Writing the 2007 Weight-Loss Diary column for Shape magazine -- and this book -- was my first real venture into revealing so much of my own story.
That's a little scary. But hearing people's reactions to my story has been fascinating. There was this from my brother: "I never knew you felt that way." And even this from my own husband: "I'm reading about things that I remember happening. But I'm just finding out now what you were really thinking about all this."
On the one hand, it surprises me that the people closest to me could have no idea what I was thinking and feeling. But on the other, it doesn't. I'll try hard to avoid gender stereotyping here, but it's no secret that many women carry a heavy burden of body shame. Some can't hide it at all, but others are more skillful.
That's the thing about women and body image. You and I could look at a woman that most would consider absolutely beautiful, only to find out that she inwardly struggles with a mountain of insecurities and perhaps a secret eating disorder. But there's a domino effect of taking off the mask and talking about all this -- if we, as women, can agree that none of us feels able to measure up to "perfect," then the problem isn't us at all. It's our definition of "perfect." It's our definition of "beautiful."
At 41, I no longer want to spend my days chasing perfection. It simply doesn't exist and frankly, I've got better things to do with my time. I'd rather just be the best and healthiest version of me.
Some people will relate to my journey and some people won't. That's OK. If it helps spark a conversation that changes the body image legacy for my daughter -- and yours -- it will have been a journey worth taking.
