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Sport and Competition
Healthy Competition: Me, Myself, and I
Who is your biggest competitor? The answer may lie in the mirror on the wall.
Posted October 12, 2020 Reviewed by Lybi Ma
Ooh, ooh teacher, I know, I know! Raise your hand if you recall that annoying kid in class who had to be first in academics, extracurricular activities, and of course the “teacher’s pet.” Or maybe this rings the school bell because that person was actually you? Competition is all around us. Our society sets us up to compete with each other to measure our success. This can heighten motivation, particularly if you’re competitive by nature and strive to be the best at everything. Taken to the extreme, however, it can lead to burnout and emotional distress.
Competition becomes a destructive force when the level of intensity makes it impossible to attain a desired goal. Let’s start with the A, B, C’s of education. Just getting into college these days seems to be an elusive pursuit. If you’re trying to get into the college of your choice, there is overwhelming stress and anxiety associated with trying to outdo your competition. No longer is a 4.0 GPA and a perfect SAT score a guarantee to win a spot in a top school. Students also have to stand out in other ways to capture the interest of the acceptance committee. Unfortunately, this has led to numerous allegations of cheating on entrance exams and bribery to get into the best colleges. The job market is just as fiercely competitive in the current economic situation whether you’re a recent college graduate or a seasoned employee.
Competition in the Sports World
Competition in sports is part of the fabric of our culture. As football coach Vince Lombardi famously said, “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.” This mindset is hard to shake off even if it enhances training and focus in the competitive arena. Any hint of good sportsmanship is overshadowed by this win-at-all-costs attitude. It demonstrates a complete lack of empathy, compassion, and caring in a pressure-cooker environment. How can we possibly learn to deal with the disappointment of loss, or express humility when we win?
Bad behavior seems to be on the rise and cheating scandals in sports are rampant. The illegal system of decoding opposing teams’ pitching signs by the Houston Astros in their 2017 championship season left us completely disillusioned. Another prime example was the recent incident involving tennis pro Novak Djokovic at the 2020 US Open. After his serve was broken by his opponent, Djokovic angrily hit a ball that flew hard into the throat of a line judge. Since when has tennis become a violent sport? These expressions of frustration are over-the-top and speak loudly to excessive competitiveness with ourselves and others. The competitive spirit that brings excitement and enthusiasm for sports should never lead to verbal, emotional, and physical abuse. Clearly, poor sportsmanship is not a new phenomenon, but where does this all end? It doesn’t seem as if we have learned much from our past mistakes.
When Competition Goes Too Far
Competition takes a wrong turn when we want to interfere with the success of others in the hopes of furthering our own success. Constantly comparing ourselves heightens our feelings of inadequacy. It’s equally unhealthy to seek validation from others to feel successful. Instead, we should search within and recognize our own merits. Participation in sports should help to bolster self-esteem, not tear us down with demeaning behavior, and other forms of poor sportsmanship. This is particularly concerning for adolescents who often struggle with negative self-image.
Unrealistic expectations set by parents, teachers, and coaches compound the existing high level of pressure. Coaches and teachers often single out talented role models to bring our attention to their abilities. This can be constructive to some extent, but it’s also a means of diminishing others, whether intentionally or unintentionally. I’ve witnessed parents who compare their children by saying things like “why can’t you be more like your sister?” Not only does this intensify sibling rivalry, but it detracts from a sense of self-worth. The issue of unattainable perfection also comes into play adding another layer of discouragement.
Achieving a Healthy Competitive Mindset
When we think of healthy competition, we usually associate it with factors that push us to accomplish our objectives. This is useful in team sports and other activities that engage us in a mutually shared challenge. There is tremendous satisfaction in this bonding experience and the elation we feel about winning or being in the first place. Taking this a step further, the healthiest manifestation of competition is the quest to achieve excellence or your personal best. This concept is worth revisiting in the unrelenting competitive climate. What satisfaction did Rosie Ruiz get from cutting corners by taking the subway to win the Boston Marathon in 1980? Wouldn’t it have been preferable to aim to surpass her own previous time record? The principle of personal best is also about upholding honesty and integrity as it pertains to you and your relationship with others.
Tips for Avoiding Competitiveness in Dance
It’s unproductive to look around the room and wish you were more like someone else. We do this mainly when we’re feeling insecure. When we feel confident about ourselves, we don’t worry about what others are doing. This is a familiar scenario for many athletes, including dancers who tend to be self-critical and have lingering self-doubt. I’ve observed this frequently in the dance world with the unique set of demands accompanying this athletic art form.
Can we ever find our way out of the competition trap? There’s one way to flip this around. Look in the mirror and compete with the person you are and want to become. Dancers improve at different rates and have different body types that influence their technique. Everyone has their own personal journey; rather than evaluating yourself through comparisons to other dancers, apply what you can learn from other dancers.
These four steps will take you a long way:
1. Take the time to reflect on how you can manage your insecurities.
2. Acknowledge the areas you’ve already improved upon and the progress you’ve made.
3. Focus on your strengths and know you can achieve the goals that you’ve set for yourself.
4. You don’t always have to be the best, just consistently try your best. That doesn’t mean you’re an underachiever; it’s an invaluable tool to carry around with you.
How does the model of a healthy dancer fit into this equation? Rachel Fine, dance nutritionist, and owner of To The Pointe Nutrition provided this valuable insight: "A healthy dancer accepts their current self and allows for the freedom to make decisions based on what feels good physically, mentally, and emotionally. A healthy dancer leads a non-restrictive lifestyle in regard to food and exercise, and takes part in dance because it brings them joy and fulfillment." She adds that “a friendly competition that supports one’s goals while harvesting sportsmanship and a team approach is recommended for dancers and studios cultivating a prosperous dance environment.”
These important factors facilitate a healthy atmosphere where dancers avoid unnecessary comparisons and have the confidence to be themselves. The commitment to their craft supersedes the negative competitive elements that may arise. This translates to all types of competitive activities and the enhancement of our physical, emotional, spiritual, and social development. When passion prevails, it becomes the driving force behind a healthy, competitive attitude and the discovery of the best version of ourselves.
