Trick or Treat? Reclaim the Joy of Eating Sweets

Stressed about Halloween candy this season? Childhood experiences often shape the attitudes we hold towards sweets as adults. We saw Cookie Monster gobble his way through a box of cookies at lightning speed while our parents tried to bribe us to eat our veggies: “Just a few more bites of broccoli and you can have some ice cream.”

Sprinkle in the food marketing slogans like “guilty pleasures,” which further solidified the neural pathways in your brain: veggies=good, sweets=bad. It’s no wonder most people believe that dessert must be served with a side of guilt.

As a result of these childhood memories and experiences, you may have internalized the following messages:

1. If you eat dessert, eat it quickly because you're obsessed and out of control. (Thanks, Cookie Monster!)
2. You must earn the right to eat dessert. (Thanks, mom and dad!)
3. You should feel guilty if you eat dessert. (Thanks, food advertisers!)

Fortunately, child feeding practices have changed since my childhood, thanks in large part to the revolutionary dietitian Ellyn Satter, who founded the Satter Division of Responsibility in Feeding. She recommends serving children dessert with their meal, as in on the same plate.

Why make it a game or a power struggle? The child can eat the cookies first or last, but the key is not to make dessert a big deal—to treat it just like all the other foods on the plate.

These same child-feeding practices work well on adults, too. Instead of avoiding or fearing Halloween candy this season, you can plan on eating a few pieces with dinner. Make it part of the meal.

Human taste buds are designed to prefer sweet and fat combos. It’s no coincidence that the carb/fat combo provides a dense energy source that we were made to crave. It is how we survived famines as a species.

Now, I am a dietitian, so I’m not saying go and replace all of your regular food with dessert. I’m just saying, we could use a lesson from a child feeding expert and not make dessert such a big deal.

Here are 5 tips for quieting your inner Cookie Monster and making peace with your Halloween candy this season (and every season):

Source: Louis Hansel / Unsplash

1. Let go of dessert guilt.

It’s normal to crave a sweet treat after a savory meal. It happens to most people. Instead of fearing or avoiding the sweet craving, embrace it.

In the majority of cases, eating a daily dessert or a few pieces of Halloween candy isn’t going to have a significant negative impact on your nutritional status or your health. If you have a medical condition that does require a dietary adjustment, enjoy a small portion of your favorite sweet treat, or a food with a different nutritional profile but a similar flavor, taste, and texture.

2. Try not to assign “healthy” and “unhealthy” labels to food.

Refrain from assigning moral judgment to food. Food is food. It’s not “good” and it’s not “bad”; it’s just food.

Sure, there are some foods that are more nutrient-dense than others, but all foods provide some benefit to the human experience. Some foods provide a physical benefit, addressing specific nutrient needs; other foods provide an emotional benefit, such as comfort, pleasure, connection, cultural celebration, or ties with a positive memory.

Labeling foods as “good” or “bad” often leads to labeling yourself as “good” or “bad” for eating certain foods. Uninvite guilt and shame to your table.

3. Eat the food you are actually craving.

If you ignore your craving or try to satisfy that craving with something less pleasurable, the craving often sticks around. When you remove the “good” and “bad” food labels, it frees you up to eat what you are truly craving.

If you notice yourself with thoughts like, “I’m really craving brownies, but I’ll just eat some strawberries instead because they are healthier,” you might be heading down a dangerous path. It’s very likely that the dessert you are eating just because you believe it is “healthier” isn’t going to satisfy the true craving. And that craving will likely just intensify over time until you are at a party with a platter of brownies and a brownie hangover afterwards.

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And when you get rid of the “good” and “bad” labels, you may also notice that sometimes your craving is actually for strawberries, and by all means, eat those delicious, refreshing summer fruits when that craving hits. Those juicy ripe beauties may even be made more pleasurable with a dollop of whipped cream on top.

Don’t bother with low sugar or low fat items, unless they really are more enjoyable to you than the regular versions. Food companies often put more of something else in those foods to compensate for flavor, such as alternative sweeteners in low-sugar items and more sugar in low-fat items. These types of recipe manipulations can create GI distress and make foods not taste as good. Just eat the real thing.

4. Stock up on foods you really enjoy.

Do you have a favorite Halloween candy? If your budget allows, you don't just have to buy one bag—if you want, you can buy enough for several months. Whatever the food is that you fear or feel out of control around, buy plenty of it and remind yourself that “it” will always be “there” and you can always buy more when you run out. This tells your brain that it doesn’t have to stress. It’s not going anywhere.

Source: Amit Lahav / Unsplash

If you’re able to stop the food morality narrative and the guilt trap, you will find that food loses its power over you. In other words, give yourself full permission to enjoy the desserts you truly crave.

In the psychology world, stocking your cupboards with this feared food is referred to as habituation. While it may seem counterintuitive, it eliminates a scarcity mindset, which often fuels overeating.

The scarcity mindset creates a head game. The term refers to believing there won't be enough to go around. This is often a subconscious experience that is rooted in experiencing guilt with eating.

Say you believe you shouldn’t be eating chocolate, and that belief is likely making you find it hard to stop after enjoying a few pieces. If you believe you shouldn’t be eating chocolate, then you may find yourself setting up your environment so that you no longer have ready access to that food for a while. You say things like, “I’ve got to get this chocolate out of the house.” And that whole thought process may actually increase your desire to eat chocolate in the moment.

Researchers have explored the idea that dietary restraint is one potential pathway that fuels compulsive eating behaviors. Therefore, the solution to having a positive relationship with food, and especially desserts, is to remove dietary restraint, or the deliberate effort to control food.

When you eliminate the scarcity mindset, you remember that you can always enjoy that food now or in the future when the craving hits. You don’t have to work for it or earn it. You can always have it. It’s not going anywhere.

Many people find that keeping plenty of their favorite chocolate in the cupboard and giving themselves full permission to enjoy chocolate whenever the craving hits results in a more peaceful relationship with chocolate. They can enjoy a few pieces after dinner and then not think much about it the rest of the evening, knowing they can enjoy more whenever that craving comes back.

5. Savor.

When eating your favorite Halloween candy or favorite dessert, turn off all distractions and really focus on the food. Notice the appearance, smell, texture, and flavors. Notice how it tastes. Celebrate that little precious morsel of amazingness.

Be mindful and totally tuned in during the eating experience. How is the first bite? Second bite? Third bite? Is the 15th bite as good as the first three bites? Get curious, stay aware, and most importantly, experiment with a dose of self-compassion.

It takes a while to unlearn toxic messages from childhood that shaped your attitudes about food and eating. By eliminating guilt and shame and embracing self-compassion, curiosity, and mindfulness, you can experience a whole new sense of wonder and joy during the Halloween season.