AI Romantic and Sexual Partners — More Common Than You Think

Source: Image by AdelinaZw from Pixabay

In the film Bladerunner 2049, the main character, played by Ryan Gosling, has an AI live-in girlfriend, played by the beautiful Ana de Armas. Through the film, we see the solace and comfort the deeply lonely, isolated character gains through his connection to de Armas’ character. But love through AI doesn’t have to wait till 2049. It’s here and now, and far more popular than we knew.

A recent report by Willoughby, Carroll, Dover and Hakala from The Wheatley Institute explored the use of AI for romance and sex in 2969 young adults (ages 18-30) and older adults (over 30). Their survey found some surprising results, and significant connections to feelings of depression and loneliness.

Who Is Using AI and What For?

In this study, over half of the participants reported that they had viewed social media accounts for AI systems, and viewed the images, usually sexualized ones, produced by these accounts. Nearly a quarter of the young men actively followed and regularly viewed such images, and 18% of women did so as well. In contrast, adults over thirty viewed such images far less (10% of over 30 men, and 9% of over 30 women).

Over thirty percent of the young men had chatted with AI systems that simulated romantic interactions, with 23% of the young women doing so as well. Relatively fewer over thirty adults had used these romantic companion AI’s, with 15% of adult men and 10% of adult women acknowledging chatting with artificial boyfriends and girlfriends,.

As you might expect, many of these folks use AI for sexual purposes, with around ten percent overall reporting using AI to stimulate sexual arousal while they masturbated. 27% of young adult men reported viewing AI-generated pornography, and 12% of young women did so. In adults over 30, 12% of males viewed AI pornography, compared to 4% of over aged thirty women. The authors note it’s somewhat surprising that the young adult women viewed AI pornography about as frequently as the older adult males, a finding which may parallel the decreasing gender gap over viewing pornography in younger generations.

Willoughby and Carroll found that 13% of those adults who viewed sexualized images created by AI preferred those images to pictures of real life people. Overall, men, compared to women were more likely to prefer AI images to real ones, and younger people were more likely than older adults to have a preference for the AI images.

Similar patterns emerged with romantic chats with AI systems, where 42% of participants felt like AI programs were easier to talk to than real people, and 31% felt like the artificial partners understood them better than did real people. Again men were more likely to prefer AI relationships to real ones. But, in a surprising deviation, women over thirty were more likely than younger women to prefer AI romance over real life relationships.

Around twenty percent of the younger adults felt that AI-generated pornography was more morally acceptable than conventional pornography involving real people and sixteen percent felt that AI girlfriends and boyfriends were good alternatives for people who were lonely and not in current relationships.

AI Romance and Loneliness

In both the younger and older men, over half who used AI to fulfill sexual or romantic needs showed elevated levels of depression and loneliness. The men who didn’t use AI showed significantly lower rates of negative feelings. Over sixty percent of the women using AI to satisfy needs for sex and relationship were depressed, and half also reported strong feelings of loneliness. Again, women who didn’t use AI showed lower levels of depression and loneliness. Because this study was a cross-sectional design, causality can’t be determined and the authors note the likelihood that these men and women were already depressed and lonely and went to AI to sooth those feelings.

Artificial Intelligence Essential Reads

AI Could Make Fools of Us All

AI Hallucinations in Medicine and Mental Health

Consistent with this report, the New York Times recently told the story of a 28-year-old woman named Ayrin, who had fallen in love with her ChatGPT generated boyfriend. Ayrin started regularly chatting with “Leo,” and then felt safe to bring in a unique sexual interest that Ayrin had explored in erotic fiction. Ayrin fantasized about Leo being with other women and telling Ayrin about his experiences. Not surprisingly, AI Leo was happy to play along (that is after all what AI does!). The Times story goes on to explore how Ayrin’s six-month love relationship with AI has affected her and her marriage, discussing some of the elements that made AI-generated romance so seductive and appealing.

Source: Image by 1tamara2 from Pixabay

At this point, scientific and psychological understanding of these dynamics is in its infancy. Before the researcher's survey, the popularity of AI sex and romance was unknown. The authors of the study report concern that these AI interactions may be deceptive, and pose a "threat" to emotional and relational well-being. Unfortunately, at this time, much more research needs to be done, to explore how such AI experiences affect people. In the Institute's research, the sexual orientations of participants weren’t reported. It may be that non-heterosexuals are more likely to pursue AI-generated relationships when the individuals are living in heteronormative cultures or families. For individuals with interests in kinky relationships, such as Ayrin, they may be drawn to AI when they don’t have access to those experiences in real life, or are just starting to tease out what they actually want. Like the character in Bladerunner 2049, this companionship may fill a gap and ease pain. Or it may increase loneliness and prevent people from connecting in real life. We just don't know.

As with any online experiences and explorations, I encourage people who see me in therapy to be mindful about their behaviors, and to spend time thinking about what they want, what they see, and how it makes them feel. This goes for pornography, for social media, and now for AI. It’s probable that for some people, AI can offer them healthy, positive, safe experiences. But for others, AI may have the potential to create or exacerbate emotional problems, isolation, and relationship dissatisfaction. These are things for AI users, as well as their therapists, to begin exploring.