Wired For Love

Trauma

Dignity on Day 1

Amy Banks on January 21, 2023

Personal Perspective: Anyone leaving prison deserves to have dignity on day 1, but that idea is in direct opposition to our American legal tradition.

Personal Perspective: Anyone leaving prison deserves to have dignity on day 1, but that idea is in direct opposition to our American legal tradition.

Relationships

Teacher Vaccinations: Essential for a Child's Brain Health

Amy Banks on March 6, 2021

Is it reasonable to expect our teachers to both put themselves in danger and build a connected classroom?

Is it reasonable to expect our teachers to both put themselves in danger and build a connected classroom?

Empathy

How Can White Folks Join the Fight to End Systemic Racism?

Amy Banks on August 27, 2020

If you are white and hoping that the culture will change, know that the only way that happens is for you to put your white skin in the game.

If you are white and hoping that the culture will change, know that the only way that happens is for you to put your white skin in the game.

Coronavirus Disease 2019

Social vs. Physical Distancing: Why It Matters

Amy Banks on April 12, 2020

Becoming socially isolated may keep the majority of us alive — but not well. Maintaining human connection is as essential to surviving the pandemic as physical distancing.

Becoming socially isolated may keep the majority of us alive — but not well. Maintaining human connection is as essential to surviving the pandemic as physical distancing.

Relationships

Enlarging the Vision of Human Possibility

Amy Banks on February 4, 2020

Dr. Maureen Walker provides a roadmap for race conversations in the 21st century.

Dr. Maureen Walker provides a roadmap for race conversations in the 21st century.

Fear

Commitment to Connection in a Culture of Fear

Amy Banks on September 15, 2019

What if, on the heels of 911, our leaders had encouraged us to step into our collective vulnerability -to better understand our place in the world, and how others perceive us.

What if, on the heels of 911, our leaders had encouraged us to step into our collective vulnerability -to better understand our place in the world, and how others perceive us.

Fear

Is Violence Inevitable?

Amy Banks on June 19, 2019

To harness the power of neuroplasticity to pull us off the fatal ledge, we must begin to identify what we are feeding our nervous systems. 

To harness the power of neuroplasticity to pull us off the fatal ledge, we must begin to identify what we are feeding our nervous systems. 

Stress

Counteracting the Impact of a Stressful World

Amy Banks on March 10, 2019

Having an overactive stress response system that leaves you perpetually on guard makes it even harder to build healthy relationships that might help you feel calm.

Having an overactive stress response system that leaves you perpetually on guard makes it even harder to build healthy relationships that might help you feel calm.

Neuroscience

The Belief in Separation and Individuation Is Not Universal

Amy Banks on December 13, 2018

To the human nervous system, separation stimulates the stress response system.

To the human nervous system, separation stimulates the stress response system.

Bullying

Building a Culture of Bullies

Amy Banks on September 18, 2018

The data is clear: being disconnected is not just painful it is lethal. Because we are social beings, social exclusion stimulates our pain pathways and our stress response system.

The data is clear: being disconnected is not just painful it is lethal. Because we are social beings, social exclusion stimulates our pain pathways and our stress response system.

Neuroscience

Separating Parents from Children: A Policy of Abuse?

Amy Banks on June 19, 2018

This is not new information but it should be in the hands of anyone considering making public policy that adversely impacts children.

This is not new information but it should be in the hands of anyone considering making public policy that adversely impacts children.

Relationships

Why Does Therapy Take So Long?

Amy Banks on May 15, 2018

As I learn more about how the human brain works and changes, I find myself wondering how in the world is talk therapy effective. The numbers just don’t add up.

As I learn more about how the human brain works and changes, I find myself wondering how in the world is talk therapy effective. The numbers just don’t add up.

Neuroscience

#MeToo—Changing Brains, Relationships and Power Dynamics

Amy Banks on January 15, 2018

Neuroscience has something to add to the #MeToo movement.

Neuroscience has something to add to the #MeToo movement.

Relationships

Interpersonal Rules that Undermine Your Relationships #7

Amy Banks on November 11, 2017

In a relational world, you learn that the expectation of doing things “on your own” is stressful and when you body is stressed, your gut takes over.

In a relational world, you learn that the expectation of doing things “on your own” is stressful and when you body is stressed, your gut takes over.

Relationships

Interpersonal Rules that Undermine Your Relationships #6

Amy Banks on September 11, 2017

We are often left to intuit what level of difference is ok not realizing that the socially acceptable level of difference is constantly shifting as you move through life.

We are often left to intuit what level of difference is ok not realizing that the socially acceptable level of difference is constantly shifting as you move through life.

Parenting

Can Neuroscience Help Me Send My Daughter to College?

Amy Banks on July 27, 2017

Some days it feels like I am about to loan my most favorite piece of heirloom pottery to a fraternity. Other days it feels like I am saying good-bye to my best friend.

Some days it feels like I am about to loan my most favorite piece of heirloom pottery to a fraternity. Other days it feels like I am saying good-bye to my best friend.

Relationships

Interpersonal Rules that Undermine Your Relationships #5

Amy Banks on May 31, 2017

The level of relational rigidity in the dominant-subordinate dynamic is destructive for all.

The level of relational rigidity in the dominant-subordinate dynamic is destructive for all.

Relationships

Interpersonal Rules that Undermine Your Relationships #4

Amy Banks on May 8, 2017

In a power over system, it is essential to know who is in charge – and quite easy. The people in the dominant group are always in charge.

In a power over system, it is essential to know who is in charge – and quite easy. The people in the dominant group are always in charge.

Relationships

Interpersonal Rules That Undermine Your Relationships #3

Amy Banks on April 9, 2017

Group polarization is a term used for the observation that when people who share similar beliefs join together in groups, they become more convinced their judgment or view is right

Group polarization is a term used for the observation that when people who share similar beliefs join together in groups, they become more convinced their judgment or view is right

Relationships

Interpersonal Rules That Undermine Your Relationships #2

Amy Banks on February 15, 2017

A longstanding myth in our culture is that only the fittest members of society flourish and procreate and that a person's survival and safety is dependent on individual strength.

A longstanding myth in our culture is that only the fittest members of society flourish and procreate and that a person's survival and safety is dependent on individual strength.