The data is clear: being disconnected is not just painful it is lethal. Because we are social beings, social exclusion stimulates our pain pathways and our stress response system.
As I learn more about how the human brain works and changes, I find myself wondering how in the world is talk therapy effective. The numbers just don’t add up.
We are often left to intuit what level of difference is ok not realizing that the socially acceptable level of difference is constantly shifting as you move through life.
Some days it feels like I am about to loan my most favorite piece of heirloom pottery to a fraternity. Other days it feels like I am saying good-bye to my best friend.
Group polarization is a term used for the observation that when people who share similar beliefs join together in groups, they become more convinced their judgment or view is right
A longstanding myth in our culture is that only the fittest members of society flourish and procreate and that a person's survival and safety is dependent on individual strength.
Are children inherently mean spirited, acting out the unique human capacity to judge and stratify based on their own selfish needs, or are they hard-wired to connect?
The human community is at a seminal crossroads. Are we going to use our brains to build edifices that cement the association between difference and danger?
Our experience of the world and the signals we allow into conscious awareness can easily be limited by past experience and even by a simple, in the moment, switch in focus.
After controlling for age, sex, race, economic status, physical health status, stressful life events, and cigarette smoking, researchers still found that those who perceived their social support to be impaired had a 340% higher rate of premature deaths than those who felt their social support was good.
This neuroscience finding requires that we stop bifurcating pain into physical and emotional and start realizing that pain is pain and that social exclusion and marginalization are forms of violence that impact individuals and whole groups of people.
We live in a culture that actively undermines this precious dopamine-relationship connection. We raise children to stand on their own two feet while the separate self is an American icon of maturity. It is making us sick.
How do “well-meaning white people” escape the pain of oppression and violence? There are so many ways – we can distract ourselves with a trip to the mall or a few hours of on-line shopping. Ding – the dopamine reward system is activated and we feel lighter, better and even safer.
Connection and cooperation are part of the everyday lives of most people and a strong mirror neuron system is essential in each and every one of life’s negotiations. It is high time that we add the fourth “R” to the basic skills taught in education—reading, ‘riting, ’rithmetic, and resonance!
The capacity to feel calm in a healthy relationship is as natural and automatic as the ability to feel terrified watching Friday the 13th. It is how we are wired. However, a culture that teaches “self-regulation” and urges you to stand on your own two feet is sending the wrong message to your nervous system.
Do you ever think relationships with people are more problem then they are worth? Are you frequently disappointed by friends and family who are supposed to have your back? Do you ever think about marrying your dog? Join the club!
Simply thinking about your strongest relationships can change your brain chemistry in a positive way. Imagine the benefits of being face to face with the people you love!
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