Balancing the Needs for Solitude and Connection

This post is Part 2 in a series. Read Part 1 here.

Are you a person who loves being in crowds, at the center of where all the action is happening? Do you get energy from hanging out with others? Or do you like alone time, where you reflect and recharge in your own company? Do you like to do hobbies where it’s just you in your natural flow? Knowing how you recharge is critical so you can maintain your mental wellness and connection with others.

Even if you love being in crowds, you need alone time to get to know yourself and what makes you tick. Just as you may love solitude, you need other people to maintain connections in this world. We are beings that need social connection, and we need alone time to find our bearings in life. Understanding your natural flow allows you to honor your ways of being and interacting with others and the world.

Different personality types reflect the natural ways people find connection with themselves and others.

An extrovert is a highly social person who thrives in a stimulating environment. Whether at work or participating in social activities, extroverts like being in group settings and feel energized by the company of others. Extroverts enjoy spontaneity, are comfortable in social settings, and are outgoing. Engaging in social gatherings and being the center of attention brings extroverts joy and validation.

An introvert is a person who generally prefers alone time and less-frequent social situations. Introverts like smaller or more intimate social connections, as larger ones demand more energy. Introverts tend to have a small group of close friends and like being in pairs or one-on-one.

Introverts are often self-aware, contemplative, and considerate because they spend more time alone with their thoughts and practice solitary hobbies. Also, introverts get energy from being in solitude, where social events can be draining. Introverts may need downtime between social gatherings to rejuvenate.

An ambivert is someone who displays qualities of both introversion and extroversion. Ambiverts might enjoy a mix of extroversion and introversion preferences, which can mean they experience joy through both alone time and social situations. Both are necessary depending on the person’s mood or desires.

Being an ambivert (an introvert who can also be an extrovert), I need solitude to recharge my batteries after a large social gathering. I like alone time. I love being with others for connection and sharing in life experiences, and I enjoy alone time where I can explore the joy of stillness inside.

Our energy is our life source, and there are ways to maintain balance as we begin to connect to our true nature. When we can silence outer and inner critics and drop the conditioned roles we carry, our soul begins to guide the way, and we can wire our minds, hearts, and bodies to touch the inner grounded nature, the inner mountain, that lives within each of us, is a part of everything, and has a peace that can be carried wherever we go.

It’s important to remember that solitude is not the same as loneliness. No matter whether someone is introverted, extroverted, or ambiverted, we all need to connect with others. Human beings are social in nature: It’s in our DNA; we evolved that way.

We need others to maintain our emotional well-being. Our social connections reward us and give us a sense of purpose. Research shows that humans need three social connections to maintain their mental health and wellness, and these connections improve their longevity.

When we are alone, we are not lonely because we connect with ourselves and our natural way of being and know who and what we are. We are not entangled in the needs or desires of other people. We can really focus on connecting more deeply with ourselves and knowing our true selves.

When we are alone, we are connected to our inner self, which is ultimately connected to everything. We begin to listen intimately to ourselves and our heart’s desire to know who we are. Through our preferences, we can discover our dreams and callings, the things that give us meaning and purpose, and the heart of our connection to everything.

Loneliness is a feeling that stems from feeling disconnected and that there we have a lack of connection. It typically brings about feelings of sadness. We can actually feel lonely even when we are in a room full of people because at the heart of loneliness is the lack of connection. When we learn how to be our own best company, we discover that, in fact, we are never alone.

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In reality, we are never alone. Loneliness is a thought pattern, just as connectedness is. For example, when we eat a meal in solitude, we are not eating it alone. In fact, there were and are a number of people who helped you bring food to your table: the farmer, the person who picked the food, the driver who transported the food from the farm, the staff at the market who stocked the food, the cashier who checked you out to purchase your food, the people who made your oven, fork, table, and so on—and we can consider the fact that every time we eat we feed billions of microorganisms that live on and within our body. It’s wild.