Pleasure Can Be Medicine

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In a culture obsessed with productivity and now dealing with unprecedented stress and uncertainty, many of us have internalized the belief that pleasure is frivolous, indulgent, or even dangerous. We postpone joy until the work is done, deny ourselves rest, and beat ourselves up for wanting more than the bare minimum. But here’s the truth I’ve been shouting from the rooftops for years: Pleasure is not a luxury. It’s a biological necessity. And when it comes to dealing with stress, pleasure isn’t just helpful—it’s essential. And pleasures that feel good and are good for us, what I call healthy hedonism, are the best medicine for us at a time we need it most.

As a neuroscientist, sex therapist, and psychotherapist, I’ve spent decades exploring how pleasure shapes our brains, our emotional lives, and our capacity to heal. One of the most powerful lessons I've learned—both in the lab and the therapy room—is that pleasure plays a vital role in calming the brain’s stress response. And in a world where chronic stress has become the norm, that makes pleasure a radical and necessary medicine.

The Brain Under Stress

First, a quick primer on what happens in your body and brain when you’re stressed. When you encounter a perceived threat—whether it’s a tiger, a traffic jam, or a tense conversation—your hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis kicks into gear. This system triggers the release of cortisol, the body’s main stress hormone, which prepares you to fight, flee, or freeze. In the short term, this response is adaptive. But when stress becomes chronic, which is increasingly common in our overstimulated, under-supported world, excess cortisol starts wreaking havoc on our bodies and minds.

Long-term elevation of cortisol has been linked to anxiety, depression, immune dysfunction, memory problems, and even a shrinking of the brain’s pleasure and learning centers, like the hippocampus. Chronic stress also suppresses our ability to feel pleasure—the more stressed we are, the harder it becomes to access the very things that could help us feel better.

But pleasure can break this cycle.

Pleasure: The Antidote to Cortisol

Engaging in pleasurable activities—especially those involving connection, touch, play, and sensual enjoyment—triggers the release of neurochemicals that counteract the effects of stress.

One of the most powerful is oxytocin, the so-called “love hormone,” which is released through physical affection, sexual activity, masturbation, and even bonding with a pet. Oxytocin has been shown to lower cortisol levels, reduce blood pressure, and promote feelings of trust and safety. Studies show that simply being hugged can dampen the stress response.

Dopamine, another key pleasure neurotransmitter, is associated with motivation, reward, and learning. It lights up the brain’s reward circuits when we do something enjoyable or meaningful, from savoring a delicious meal to achieving a personal goal. And then there are endorphins, the body’s natural opioids, which dull pain and produce feelings of bliss and relaxation. Even a good laugh—or a good cry—can stimulate their release.

When we engage in pleasurable activities, these neurochemicals dampen the activity of the HPA axis, quiet the alarm bells in the brain, and bring our nervous systems back into a state of balance. And unlike medications that merely mask symptoms, pleasure activates deep, lasting mechanisms of healing—biologically, emotionally, and relationally.

The Power of the Pleasure Brain

What’s especially fascinating is that these effects aren’t limited to the moment of pleasure itself. Studies show that pleasurable experiences can have a lasting protective effect against future stress. In one notable study, rats exposed to pleasurable touch and sexual stimulation were more resilient to later stressors, showing lower cortisol levels and less anxiety-like behavior days after the pleasurable event.

This finding maps onto what I see clinically: clients who learn to incorporate more authentic pleasure into their daily lives often report feeling more grounded, more capable of handling challenges, and more emotionally regulated. They don’t just feel better in the moment—they become more resilient over time.

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This is no accident. Pleasure builds neural pathways that strengthen our capacity for joy, connection, and self-regulation. And that’s especially important for those of us healing from trauma.

Trauma, Stress, and the Pleasure Deficit

Many people I work with grew up in environments where pleasure was unsafe, unavailable, or actively shamed. Trauma—especially developmental or relational trauma—can wire the brain to expect danger and to shut down pleasure pathways as a protective mechanism. Over time, this leads to what I call a “pleasure deficit,” where we feel disconnected from joy, sensuality, and aliveness.

Reclaiming pleasure is a key part of healing. But it’s not as simple as scheduling a spa day or having more sex (though those can help!). It often involves unlearning toxic beliefs about pleasure, rebuilding a sense of safety in the body, and gradually reconnecting with the sensory world.

In my own life, I’ve had to do this work, too. I know firsthand how stress and early wounds can shut down the very parts of us that long to come alive. And I’ve also experienced how small acts of pleasure—mindful breathing, dancing in my kitchen, cuddling with my dog—can reawaken joy and quiet the inner critic.

Everyday Pleasures, Extraordinary Benefits

One of the most empowering things about the science of pleasure is that you don’t need a big life change to start reaping the benefits. Even small, intentional doses of pleasure can profoundly shift your biochemistry and your mood.

Here are a few evidence-based ways to begin:

• Touch: Give or receive a hug, massage your hands with lotion, or run a warm bath.
• Movement: Dance, stretch, or take a walk in nature.
• Play: Watch something funny, engage in a hobby, or do something silly on purpose.
• Connection: Call a friend, cuddle a pet, or make eye contact with someone you trust.
• Sensory delight: Light a candle, savor your food, or listen to music that moves you.
• Sexual pleasure: Whether solo or with a partner, consensual sexual pleasure can be a profound way to regulate stress, connect with your body, and feel alive.

The key is presence. When we allow ourselves to fully inhabit moments of pleasure without judgment, we create the conditions for real healing to occur.

Conclusion: Reclaiming the Right to Feel Good

We are living through a global stress epidemic—and yet, we continue to neglect one of the most accessible and powerful tools for resilience: pleasure.

We don’t need more guilt. We don’t need more hustle. What we need is to reclaim our right to feel good—not as a reward for suffering, but as a birthright. As something that connects us to our humanity, heals our nervous systems, and reminds us that joy is possible—even in hard times.

Pleasure is not optional. It’s medicine.

Let’s permit ourselves to take the dose.