The First-Date Body Language That Guarantees a Second

Source: Image by Rachel Scott from Pixabay

When you first meet a prospective partner on a first date, are there factors you notice more than others? You might think that you pay attention to clothing, physical appearance, mannerisms, manner of speech, or even sense of humor. However, according to science, there are more important indicators on a first date. And while the appropriateness of first date behaviors will all be subject to cultural interpretations and norms, there are some commonalities.

Beauty Is in the Eye-Contact of the Beholder

First impressions are made in a variety of ways, through everything from a smile to a sense of style. From flattery to fashion, we respond to others based on how they behave and how they make us feel. We are more likely to want to see someone again when they are low-key rather than overly formal, relaxed rather than anxious. Amidst the sensory and conversational cues that occur during a first meeting, there is one tried and true aspect of a first date that is more likely than most to lead to a second date—eye contact.

The Pleasure of Receiving Eye Contact

Alexandra Hoffmann and her team (2024) investigated how eye contact predicted partner choice after a five-minute conversation.[i] They conducted a study using 30 male and 30 female subjects who each attended four speed dates. They found that participants were more likely to choose dating partners with whom they shared more eye contact. Regarding perceived attractiveness, which was also important in mate choice, they found that receiving but not giving eye contact also predicted the selection of a partner. They explained their results by sharing that mutual eye contact predicted mate choice beyond a partner’s perceived attractiveness.

The Eyes Have It: Visual Bonding

As Hoffmann and colleagues report, if it is maintaining eye contact that seems to have a significant influence on interpersonal attraction, how does it work? They suggest two potential explanations: the first is that eye contact might indicate flirting with a stranger, triggering positive arousal. This may mean that subjects reciprocated eye contact with prospective partners, influencing self-impressions. A second explanation: eye contact generates charisma and can cause people to be more attracted to dating partners with whom they enjoy a higher degree of mutual gaze. They explain that receiving more eye contact on a date might make someone feel more involved, resulting in a more personal bond with their dating partner.

First Impressions Happen Fast: How to Focus

You may be familiar with the well-known saying that you don’t have a second chance to make a first impression. Hoffmann and her team found that mutual eye contact predicts mate choice after just five minutes beyond perception of attractiveness. They note that apparently, both sharing and receiving eye contact during romantic interactions positively influences partner choice. Accordingly, to take advantage of this straightforward method of visual bonding, you can set aside whatever time you need to get ready without being rushed, ensuring you arrive comfortable and de-stressed enough to flatter your date with your full attention, including soft, appropriate eye contact.

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