Why Male Stalking Victims Do Not Report

Most people have seen the Hollywood portrayals. Unsettling depictions of a woman walking out to find a single rose and a chilling note left on the windshield of her car. Strangers hiding in dark alleys, following unsuspecting victims walking home late at night or peering into bedroom windows. But is that what stalking really looks like? In most cases, the answer is no.

Stalking requires repeated behavior coupled with a credible threat of harm. As I have addressed in previous columns, there are different methods through which people become stalkers, and ways to dissuade stalking behavior. But one of the most challenging things about prosecuting any type of stalking crime is encouraging victims to report. This is especially true when the victims are men.

Source: Image by SolGar from Pixabay

How Often Do Men Report Stalking?

Daniela Acquadro Maran et al. (2020) compared the consequences and coping strategies of male and female stalking victims who reported the crime.[i] For purposes of their study, they defined stalking as “a set of repetitive, unwelcome, and intrusive” behaviors that cause a victim to experience “apprehension, annoyance, and/or fear for her/his safety or the safety of others.” They noted this could include repeated behavior that is threatening or harassing, including following, harassing phone calls, showing up at the victim’s business or home, leaving objects or written messages, or vandalism.

Acquadro Maran et al. report that in previously conducting one of the first large scale stalking investigations in the United States (2000) with a sample of 16,000 people, half of which were men, they found that only 13.4% of men (compared to 27.8% of women) reported their victimization to the police. In their current research, examining 271 police files in three cities in the Northwest of Italy, Acquadro Maran et al. found that men endured stalking behavior longer than women before reporting to police. They found that the emotional consequences of procrastination negatively impacted wellbeing, and that the coping strategies used by male victims were not only ineffective, but they also carried a risk of hampering police investigation and intervention.

Why Don’t Men Report?

One of the reasons many men don’t report is out of fear of not being taken seriously or believed. And although statistically, significantly more women than men report being stalked, they note that this may reflect a lower tendency to identify as a victim, which reduces the chances of seeking help.

The reluctance to report may also stem from the emotional impact of stalking on the victim. Men and women are both emotionally impacted by stalkers, but in different ways. Acquadro Maran et al. note that in their study, men suffered both physical and emotional symptoms, as well as panic attacks, more frequently than female victims. They note this may indicate that in our culture, men do not expect to be stalked. They also note that men are less likely to perceive approach behavior as stalking, and that men are more likely to expect to be targeted by direct violence as opposed to intrusive, repetitive, and elusive behavior, and consequently, were less fearful than women.

In their own research, Acquadro Maran et al. found that men were most often stalked by women, let the stalking campaign carry on longer than women did before turning to the police, but experienced less frequency of stalking behavior than did women.

Encouraging Reporting

Encouraging men to report stalking behavior is a suggestion not always enthusiastically received. Yet because many victims cannot simply “handle it” on their own, and stalkers will not simply go away, it is often necessary to involve law enforcement. Potential remedies can include restraining orders keeping the suspect away from the victim, his workplace, and his family. Although it is true that in some cases, restraining orders have the potential to provoke the offender and escalate conduct, in many other cases, they are effective methods of preventing future criminal behavior.

Reporting stalkers also reveals the types of red flags that characterize stalkers in the making. By knowing what to look for, family, friends, employers, and threat assessment professionals can spot problematic behavior early, and perhaps even intervene to address or redirect obsessive thoughts or behavior, before fixation escalates into criminal conduct.