A Verbal Psychological First Aid Kit

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If it seems like the world is in crisis, it’s because it is. If it seems like uncertainty is looming almost everywhere, it’s because it is. If people seem chronically on edge, it’s because they are. And if it seems as if more people than in past years are suffering mental health crises, it’s likely because they are.

According to an October 2022 report released by the American Psychological Association (APA), over 25% of Americans reported experiencing stress so severe they could not function (APA, 2022). The specific sources contributing to acute distress certainly vary across people, but common themes of stress in America were an uncertain future, politics, the economy, loneliness, and violence (APA, 2022, 2024). One thing seems clear – people are more distressed than in previous years and you probably know someone who has experienced an acute crisis within the last year. You may have actually witnessed someone experiencing an acute crisis. Research tells us that social support — the support of another person — is associated with resilience and well-being (Ozer, et al., 2003; Murthy, 2023). But more specifically, how can you best help a friend, family member, or co-worker in a moment of acute distress?

Foundations of the Psychological First Aid (PFA) Toolkit

The art of providing psychological support in a moment of crisis has been referred to as psychological first aid (PFA). PFA may be thought of as a catalyst for resilience in another person. While no one particular approach to PFA has been shown to be superior to another, the Johns Hopkins Center for Public Health Preparedness, among other sources, offer guidance in the provision of PFA. That said, what is it you can actually do to assist another person in a crisis? Here are some options.

1. Offer a compassionate, understanding, and supportive presence. Remember the power of supportive silence.
2. Be patient.
3. Don’t rush to “fix” a problem that may not have an easy resolution.
4. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
5. Without dismissing or minimizing someone’s concerns, try to offer hope.

Ten Powerful Things You Can Say

The five options above set the stage for resilience. Here are 10 things you can actually say to someone experiencing an acute crisis to jump start the resilience process. Not all will be applicable in all circumstances, so it’s important to choose the one (or more) that best fits the person and situation. Be sure to use your own words, rather than sound like you are reading from a script.

1. "Let’s slow down. Take a couple of deep breaths. Think before you act. I’m here with you."
2. "What has helped you cope in the past when you’ve been distressed?"
3. "Don’t give away your happiness to a person or situation that doesn’t care about you."
4. "Mistakes are what you did, not who you are."
5. "Tenacity overcomes just about anything. Failure doesn’t begin until you stop trying."
6. "What would you say to me if our situations were reversed and I was feeling what you’re feeling right now?"
7. "While it’s hard to see at times like this, sometimes crisis can lead to something positive. If there is anything positive that might come from this, what could it be?" Note: Examples might be releasing one from a burden, terminating an unhealthy relationship, or opening new opportunities for growth.
8. "What do you need most right now?"
9. "Who can you reach out to for support right now?"
10. "How can I help you most, right now?"

Laying the foundation for resilience and practicing simple words of encouragement and empowerment can serve as the elements of a basic psychological first aid kit to help friends, family members, and co-workers in crisis. At first, these techniques may seem artificial and too simplistic, but with practice they will become more natural and the effectiveness of the right words at the right time may surprise you.

© George S. Everly, Jr., PhD, 2025.