Relationships

The Secrets of Self-Improvement and a New You

The most important lessons from the field of self-improvement are recurring.

Posted June 17, 2022 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

Key points

Over 18 million copies of self-improvement-focused books are sold every year.
Upon distillation, the most popular self-improvement books seem to focus on two core themes: self-empowerment and relationship building.
Self-empowerment helps people control how they see and react to the world, while relationships are a key to resilience.

Source: geralt/ Pixabay

One of the most popular literary genres is self-help, more recently termed self-improvement or personal growth. Over 18 million copies of self-improvement-focused books are sold every year, generating around $800 million annually.

Although there are literally thousands of different self-improvement titles in print, the most popular, and likely the most helpful, espouse a relatively finite set of recurring messages to their readers. In fact, the core themes of the most popular self-improvement books of the last 100 years may be distilled down to two themes: self-empowerment and relationship building. Let’s take a closer look.

History of Self-Improvement Books

I acknowledge that most religious and spiritual writings have a self-improvement component to them. Similarly, ancient philosophical traditions such as Stoicism as described by Epictetus in The Enchiridion or by Marcus Aurelius in Meditations have significant self-improvement aspects to them. That said, I will focus on secular contributions to the movement published beginning around the 19th century.

Benjamin Franklin made a habit of journaling ways of improving almost everything he encountered. Means of personal self-improvement were no exception. In 1791, Franklin’s Book of Virtues was published after his death. Therein he espoused 13 virtues for self-improvement. A few years later in 1812, the Brothers Grimm compiled and published 86 fairy tales ostensibly intended to teach valuable lessons about life and personal growth. In 1859, Samuel Smiles authored a book that would change everything. It was entitled Self Help and gave a name to this literary genre that is focused upon self-improvement. In 1912, Dale Carnegie began teaching classes in New York City which focused on business education. His teachings led to the 1936 publication of the first major international best-selling self-improvement book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. A year later, Napoleon Hill released, Think and Grow Rich.

Some of the Most Popular Self-Improvement Books

Since those early days, the industry has seen numerous influential international best-selling self-improvement books. Here are some of the most popular and impactful: Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, Seven Habits of Highly Successful People by Stephen Covey, Thinking Fast, Thinking Slow by Daniel Kahneman, Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki, The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, Who Moved My Cheese by Spencer Johnson, and Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson, among others.

Each of these books was a game-changer. While they have different messages and use different rhetorical approaches, their lessons can be distilled down to two predominant themes: self-empowerment and relationship building.

The Lessons of Self-Empowerment and Relationship Building

These aforementioned books underscore the importance of self-empowerment. They teach that self-empowerment begins with a vision and an attitude. The most important attitudes are self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-efficacy (the belief in your ability to act as your own agent of change). They teach the importance of tenacity. And they advocate enlisting the power of the self-fulfilling prophecy (as you believe, so it shall be). These are all attitudes. You may not be able to control all that happens in life, but you can control how you see and react to the world around you.

These books also teach the importance of relationships in crisis, growth, and everyday life. Science teaches us that the single best predictor of human resilience is a connection to others. Easier said than done, however. The risk associated with building relationships is that of rejection. So powerful is the fear of rejection that we are loath to take the risk. We prefer the misery of being alone to the misery of rejection. These books urge us to move past that fear. Who's got your back?