Moments of Grace

Do we make them happen or are they simply luck or magic?

Posted Aug 01, 2016

I want to talk about Grace. Not the three sister goddesses who dispense charm and beauty, although that’s likely related. Grace as in: an excellence or power granted by God. Grace as Webster defines it: unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration - a state of sanctification through divine grace.

In other words, that moment when God’s presence is experienced and it makes magic happen. In our hearts.

I’ve been thinking about this lately because it feels like there’s a paradox in it. I feel deeply humble in the presence of that magic; aware that it isn’t about me. On the other hand, if I give myself no credit than I have no real reason to exist in relationship to or in the world.

What I’m beginning to understand is that those moments of grace have two parts. One part has nothing to do with us personally. It’s about something divine, which is way, way bigger than us. Magic shows up when it shows up, and trying to create it or capture it or force it just doesn’t work. It’s not about us, it’s about something bigger.

The other part has everything to do with us personally. It’s simply and powerfully about being willing to show up authentically, with an open mind and heart, to the moment at hand.

In this way, moments of grace have nothing to do with us… but also do have a lot to do with us.

The grace that happens through me - through every person - is unique. So while everyone is capable of grace, it’s going to be their own unique version that shows up when the magic happens.

But the fact that people might have that experience with me, or you, or anyone, and want more, is about them wanting what everyone wants - the experience of magic. God. This is very important to be aware of, and helps us not be codependent in relationships, but instead to be clear about our own truth and what’s healthy for us. It’s not my job (or anyone’s job) to give people the experience of that magic. Nor should people confuse the person for the experience. People are not God.

That’s a mistake many people make in relationship and it causes big heartache. It’s wonderful when someone’s presence in our life helps us experience love. Transcendence. Being deeply seen. Connection with our true self. But those experiences are not, ultimately, about that other person. So it’s great to get it from being with them, but when we don’t then we have to realize it’s not them and we grow in capacity to get it elsewhere, to get it in ourselves.

At the same time, and paradoxically, it’s also not good for us to completely dismiss our part in it: the part that has to do with us showing up authentically as ourselves, and being fully present with another. When I dismiss it, I end up scared I’ll lose people - that they won’t love me. I lose a sense of my value in relationship; my part in making magic happen. I end up trying to be what I think a person needs, rather than myself. And ultimately don’t feel valued for me, or end up giving the person what they need anyway.

In this way, then, moments of Grace are really simply about me and not me coming together at the same time. In other words, the magic is simply about me showing up fully as just good old me. That’s when God, like the wind, may just blow through.