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Key points
- Communibiology helps us understand how men and women are often sexually aroused differently.
- Three important factors for men’s sexual arousal are visual stimuli, testosterone, and oxytocin.
- Women’s sexual arousal is more complicated, involving more communication, estrogen, oxytocin, and psychology.
Communibiology is the recognition that our biology and communication with others are interconnected. After all, the entirety of our communication that we have with others originates in our brain. Men and women have different social needs when it comes to relationships. Affection is no different and influences relationship satisfaction and also health benefits.22 It is through communibiology that we can better understand how biological sex differences create diverse sexual arousal needs, such as more prerequisites for women.
Sex Hormones
Males think about sex more, have a stronger sexual drive, have higher rewarding feelings from sexual cues, and are more sexually aroused from visual sexual stimuli.16, 18, 33, 47, 57 Males progress toward an orgasm quicker than females.42 Males’ sexual arousal is influenced by testosterone and adult males have about 20 times more testosterone than adult females.8, 14 However, at about age 20 men’s testosterone levels start to decrease leading to lower sexual desires for men.9, 40 Also, extremely intense exercise for men can lead to sexual dysfunctions.21 Certain foods and specific exercises can increase or decrease testosterone levels for men.
Estrogen influences brain functioning and behaviors in females, such as sexual motivation and arousal.13, 41 Adult women under age 40 have about 20 times more estrogen than adult men.40, 55 As women’s estrogen levels increase near ovulation, their sexual desires increase.50 Conveniently, men find women’s faces more attractive when women are in the fertile stage of their menstrual cycle.58
In addition to estrogen, relationship quality bonding also plays a large role in female sexual arousal.47 Likely not coincidently, women’s estrogen levels can start to decrease around age 40 and the majority of divorces filed by people 50 or older are filed by women.40, 49 However, talking and other cognitive therapies have been found to improve female libido.38, 44 While talking is important to women, they should understand that they have superior language abilities enabling better emotional communication than men.31, 36, 48
Oxytocin also plays a part in relationships because it is a neuropeptide that helps us feel more connected with others. Females’ oxytocin levels increase when talking, falls when feeling unnoticed, that interact with the dopamine system.6, 7, 28, 35, 54 Dopamine plays a crucial role in reward sensations, such as conditioning relationship partners what specific behaviors are rewarding as in the form of sexual sensations.20, 34 Women’s oxytocin levels increase when they are in the presence of a relationship partner. This helps women decrease their anxiety, while increasing their sexual arousal, emotional bonding, trust, sexual pleasures, and orgasm sensations.12, 25, 47, 61 Hence, relationships are more emotionally intense for women and open supportive communication from their partner helps the relationship.
Not only talking but touch can increase oxytocin levels, which also increases attention toward the partner, synchronized behaviors, positive emotions, dopamine levels, sexual arousal, and orgasm intensity through the limbic system.15, 26, 29, 45, 51, 53, 61 As important as oxytocin is to a relationship, contraceptive use for women can also be important but risks inhibiting oxytocin brain reward emotions and reducing sexual desire.46, 52, 59, 64
Odors that others smell can also influence their sexual desires for us.10, 11, 65 Men find the scent of a woman in a high fertility phase involving higher levels of estrogen and/or if the woman is already aroused enticing, thus the man then becomes more aroused and self-discloses more.19, 23 Women can also become sexually aroused by a man’s odors, particularly from a man’s natural odors.30, 43, 56, 60
Psychological Needs
Now that the physical desires have been covered, we can focus more on women’s emotional and psychological needs. Sex brain differences help create differing sexual arousal needs between men and women.26, 41 Females have a more interconnected brain and additional areas of their brain are more intensely involved during emotional experiences.2, 12, 24, 46 As a result, some social interaction differences are that men often find intimacy and other touching behaviors from a woman arousing. Women find more social interactions such as asking them for a date, spending time together, listening to them, and compliments arousing.63 Therefore, men need to understand that social interactions such as talking, listening, and paying attention to a woman are important and play a role in a woman’s sexual arousal.
He also needs to understand that females experience stress more intensely and are more vulnerable to the stress chemical cortisol, which is detrimental to the brain areas of the amygdala and hippocampus that play a part in emotion processing and memory.4, 39 Therefore, the stress chemical cortisol can lead to females having a stronger emotional link with personal memories, such as focusing on negative emotional experiences.1, 5 Negative emotions, depression, and anxiety hinder sexual motivation and arousal for women.12 Hence, women need more overall reduced stress and more relaxation prior to intimacy.7
Here are some other psychological tips for women to increase their sexual arousal interest and levels. Excitement, prioritizing their sexual needs, responding to sexual cues, focusing on the sexual moment, and the partner showing sexual desire for the woman can each increase the woman’s sexual arousal.32, 37, 47, 62 Mentally visualizing sexual desires prior to the actual sexual experience can help women achieve a better orgasm.62 Kontula and Miettinen (2016) add sexual self-esteem, communicating openly with their sexual partner, female level of activity, and sexual intercourse lasting about 15 minutes as important factors that increase the likelihood of experiencing an orgasm. The factors for males to have a pleasurable orgasm are age, sexual sensation desire, sexual gratification, and focus on their partner’s sexual pleasure.3 More aligned desired sexual interests with actual sexual experiences in a relationship leads to more satisfaction with the relationship and a better orgasm.17 Hence, both partners should mentally focus on the moment.
Conclusion
Women have more overall psychological and physical requirements for sexual intimacy. Men are stimulated more from visual cues and influences of testosterone.33 Three key ingredients for sexual arousal are male testosterone/female estrogen, oxytocin, and dopamine. It is through communication and understanding that these factors can be utilized in a relationship.
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