Anxiety
7 Bad Mental Habits and How They Can Hold You Back in Life
Unhealthy thoughts can take a toll on your well-being. These tips can help.
Posted May 21, 2025 Reviewed by Tyler Woods
Key points
- That little voice inside your head can be your biggest cheerleader or your harshest critic.
- Overthinking leaves you feeling stuck in a loop of indecision.
- Ruminating is like replaying your mistakes, regrets, or awkward moments in a mental loop.
- Your mindset may always be a work in progress.
We all have mental habits that can hold us back—from overthinking to harsh self-criticism. The tricky part is, we get so used to these habits that we often don’t even notice that they’re influencing us.
But, as I explain in a recent episode of the Mentally Stronger podcast, our inner monologue influences how we feel, act, and even what we achieve. Becoming aware of your thinking patterns is the first step.
You can’t prevent unhelpful thoughts from popping into your head. But you can control how you respond to them.
Here are seven common bad mental habits and practical strategies you can use to take charge of your thinking, feel stronger, and unlock your potential.
1. Negative Self-Talk
That little voice inside your head can be your biggest cheerleader or your harshest critic. When it’s overly negative, it can reduce your confidence, fuel your anxiety, and turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you tell yourself you’re socially awkward, you’ll act socially awkward.
What to do:
- Catch your inner critic in the act.
- Ask yourself, "What would I say to a friend in this situation?" Chances are, you would be a lot kinder and more supportive to them than you are to yourself.
2. Catastrophizing
Catastrophizing makes even small problems feel like the end of the world. Imagine your boss sends an email saying, "We need to meet tomorrow." Suddenly, your mind spirals into, "I’m getting fired, and I’ll never recover." Not only will those thoughts amplify your stress, but catastrophic thinking can also cloud your judgement and reduce your ability to make healthy decisions.
What to do:
- Argue the opposite. If your brain jumps to the worst-case scenario, counter it with the best-case scenario. Maybe your boss wants to offer you a promotion, not fire you.
- Remember that most situations fall somewhere in the middle of your worst fears and your wildest dreams.
- Even if the worst does happen, reassure yourself that you can cope. You’ve survived tough times before, and you will find a way through.
3. Overthinking
Overthinking leaves you feeling stuck in a loop of indecision. Whether it’s deciding what to wear or how to approach an important conversation, overthinking wastes your time and energy. Even worse, it’ll prevent you from taking productive action.
What to do:
- Set a time limit for decisions. For small choices, give yourself five or ten minutes to decide. For larger decisions, schedule an hour to weigh your options, and then move forward.
- Ground yourself in the present moment. Remember that most decisions won’t matter as much as you think they will a year from now.
4. Perfectionism
Striving for excellence is healthy, but perfectionism takes it too far. When your expectations are too high, you’ll likely procrastinate, burn out or take forever to complete tasks. Ironically, many perfectionists sabotage their own goals because they can’t handle the tension of trying to meet impossible expectations.
What to do:
- Start by aiming for "good enough." Remind yourself that progress matters more than perfection.
- Celebrate small wins along the way instead of focusing only on the end goal.
- If you slip up, remember it’s a step back, not a restart. You don’t lose all your progress just because you missed one workout or made one mistake.
5. Comparing Yourself to Others
Whether you’re scrolling through Instagram or catching up at a class reunion, comparing yourself to other people can chip away at your happiness. Even if you measure up, it often leads to anxiety about losing your status.
What to do:
- Focus on your personal growth. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to other people.
- Define your own version of success. Someone else’s amazing vacation photos or career milestones don’t diminish your achievements. You are running your own race, not theirs.
6. Ruminating
Ruminating is like replaying your mistakes, regrets, or awkward moments in a mental loop. Not only does it worsen your mood, but it can also keep you stuck in the past, unable to enjoy the present or plan for the future.
What to do:
- Change the channel in your brain. When you notice you’re ruminating, redirect your focus. Do something that requires a bit of mental effort, like cleaning a small area, completing a puzzle, or cooking a meal that needs your attention.
- If you struggle to shift your thoughts, try giving yourself a set amount of "worry time" each day. Once that time’s up, move on and do something else. With practice, you can learn to contain your worrying to a small amount of time every day.
7. Black-and-White Thinking
An all-or-nothing mindset leads you to see things as either amazing or awful—with no in-between. You might think, "That presentation I gave was a total trainwreck," or "This new coworker is the best person I’ve ever met." Seeing life as either "perfect" or "terrible" sets you up for disappointment and makes it harder to adapt to change.
What to do:
- Notice key words like "always" or "never." If you catch yourself thinking in extremes, look for the gray area.
- Remind yourself that most situations aren’t all good or all bad. And there are always multiple ways to approach a decision.
The good news is that you don’t have to entertain every thought that pops into your mind. You get to decide whether a thought is helpful. If it’s not, you have the power to reframe it or break the habit entirely.
Your mindset may always be a work in progress. But building mental strength isn’t about always thinking positively. It’s about learning to recognize and reframe the unhealthy thinking patterns that could hold you back from reaching your greatest potential.
To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
References
Tod, D., Hardy, J., & Oliver, E. (2011). Effects of self-talk: A systematic review. Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology, 33(5), 666–687. https://doi.org/10.1123/jsep.33.5.666
Özdel, K., Taymur, I., Guriz, S. O., Tulaci, R. G., Kuru, E., & Turkcapar, M. H. (2014). Measuring cognitive errors using the Cognitive Distortions Scale (CDS): Psychometric properties in clinical and non-clinical samples. PLoS ONE, 9(8), e105956. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0105956