4 Reasons You Might Feel More Depressed During the Holidays

The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, family gatherings, and gratitude. But, for many, this time can bring a wave of emotional challenges, including increased feelings of sadness, loneliness, or even depression.

As a therapist and host of the Mentally Stronger podcast, I see this phenomenon every year. Requests for therapy increase as mental health issues climb for many people whose sadness is compounded by the idea that everyone else is happier than ever.

That’s why it’s important to talk more about holiday mental health. There’s no need to feel shame for not enjoying the holiday season and it can also help everyone extend compassion to others during the “festive” season.

1. The Weight of Social Isolation

The holiday season highlights togetherness, but not everyone has access to strong social support systems. A 2015 study published in Perspectives on Psychological Science found that loneliness and perceived isolation have significant links to depressive symptoms.

For those living far from family, estranged from loved ones, or grieving losses, the contrast between the social ideal of the holidays and personal reality can be stark.

Even people who attend gatherings can feel lonely or disconnected if the relationships in their lives are strained or don't provide emotional fulfillment. This emotional loneliness—the feeling of being unseen or unsupported—is just as impactful as being physically alone.

What Can Help? If you’re feeling isolated, reach out. This could involve connecting with a friend, joining events in your community, or volunteering. Building connections, even small ones, can provide a powerful sense of belonging.

2. Financial Stress and Its Emotional Toll

Another significant cause of holiday-related distress is financial pressure. The holidays are filled with expectations to give extravagant gifts, host elaborate meals, or travel to visit loved ones, all of which can strain your budget.

A 2006 study conducted by the American Psychological Association found that financial stress is one of the leading causes of distress during the holidays, with nearly half of participants reporting money-related concerns.

This pressure can be especially painful if you're already struggling financially. The burden of wanting to meet cultural and familial expectations while managing your reality can lead to feelings of inadequacy or guilt, which can exacerbate depression.

What Can Help? Set realistic financial limits. Communicate openly with family and friends about choosing simpler gift-giving approaches or engaging in cost-free activities like putting up decorations together. Your presence and thoughtfulness often mean far more than material items.

3. Unrealistic Expectations and Comparison

Hallmark movies, social media, and marketing campaigns paint a picture-perfect image of the holidays. Families gathered around lavish dinners, romantic snowfall scenes, and endless happiness seem to be the norm. When our own realities don’t measure up, it’s easy to feel like we’re falling short.

This pattern of comparing what we have—or don’t have—with others can trigger feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, or sadness.

The concept of "holiday perfectionism" has even been studied. Research in the Journal of Happiness Studies reveals that people who set overly high standards for their holiday experiences often report more distress and less overall satisfaction throughout the season. The more you feel that you or your family "should" live up to these idealized norms, the more you risk feeling disheartened.

What Can Help? Challenge your assumptions about what the holidays “should” look like. Focus instead on small, meaningful moments and set boundaries with yourself when scrolling through social media. Remember, what you see online is often a filtered, curated version of reality.

4. Grieving the Past or Loved Ones

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For those grieving the loss of a loved one, the holidays can be particularly painful. The season often brings back memories of better days—a time when that person was present. Whether the loss is recent or occurred years ago, the holidays serve as a reminder of that absence, which can amplify grief.

Research published in Death Studies highlights how individuals facing loss during culturally significant times experience heightened emotional distress, as the societal emphasis on family unity underscores feelings of emptiness. When everyone else seems to be celebrating, it can feel isolating and invalidating to feel deep sadness.

What Can Help? Acknowledge your grief, and don’t feel pressured to “act happy” if you’re not feeling it. Finding ways to honor the memory of your loved one—a special toast, lighting a candle, or sharing stories—can help you feel connected and provide comfort.

Practical Tips to Cope With Holiday Blues

Here are a few actionable steps you can take if the holidays weigh heavily on your mental health:

1. Set Boundaries: It’s OK to say no to events or traditions that feel overwhelming. Protecting your mental health is a form of self-care.
2. Prioritize Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and accept your emotions without judgment.
3. Seek Support: If depression feels unmanageable, talk to your doctor, reach out to a therapist, or join a support group.

You’re Not Alone

If you’re struggling emotionally this holiday season, know that you are not alone. Many others experience similar feelings, even if they don’t talk about it. While the holidays can be challenging, they’re also just a season—temporary in their nature. Be patient with yourself, and remember that it’s OK to honor the season in a way that fits your needs, not someone else’s expectations.

If you take even small steps toward prioritizing your emotional well-being, such as reaching out to a trusted friend or setting realistic budgets, you’re already building mental strength. And that is something worth celebrating all year long.