Reawakening Childlike Curiosity and the Joy of Wonder

Have you ever watched a child discover something for the first time? The wide eyes, the endless stream of “why” and “how” questions, the pure joy of figuring things out. Now, compare that to most adults in a meeting, nodding along, hesitant to admit what they don’t understand.

What happened?

How did we go from being relentlessly curious explorers to adults who rarely ask questions at all?

Young children naturally bombard their parents with questions. In a landmark study, Barbara Tizard and Martin Hughes found that young children ask between 25 and 50 questions per hour at home. Another study found that four-year-olds ask an average of 390 questions per day, or roughly one question every two minutes. Many of these questions aren’t just about facts—they seek explanations, revealing a deep desire to understand the world.

Yet by the time they reach school, the number of questions they ask drops dramatically. The same kids who ask dozens of questions an hour at home ask only about two per hour in school. And by adulthood? Most of us rarely ask at all.

Why do we lose our curiosity? And more importantly—how do we get it back?

How Curiosity Gets Suppressed

1. The Structure of Schools

For young children, questions are the primary way of making sense of the world. But in many classrooms, learning is structured around receiving and repeating correct answers rather than exploring ideas. The industrial model of education, designed to prepare students for standardized roles, emphasizes efficiency over inquiry. Over time, students stop asking because the system rewards certainty, not curiosity.

This shift is reflected in the research of Barbara Tizard and Martin Hughes, who found that while children ask frequent and varied questions at home, they ask far fewer at school. This change isn’t because they suddenly lose interest—it’s because the environment signals that questions are no longer as welcome.

2. Social Pressures

In early childhood, curiosity is boundless. A toddler will ask “why” in the middle of a crowded grocery store without a second thought. But how many children have been told at some point – whether implicitly or explicitly – “enough with all the questions”? Further, as we grow older, we become more aware of how we are perceived by others, and that awareness can lead to self-censorship.

For many adults, the hesitation to ask questions is strongest in professional or social settings. Especially when psychological safety is low, the fear of looking uninformed or being the only one who doesn’t understand often overrides the impulse to inquire. Over time, this repeated inhibition conditions us to stay silent. What once was second nature—asking freely—becomes a calculated risk.

3. The Illusion of Knowing

Another reason curiosity declines is the belief that we already understand the world well enough. But research suggests that this confidence is often misplaced.

Psychologist William Ickes and others have found that while people believe they know their close friends and spouses far better than strangers, their actual accuracy in predicting their loved ones’ thoughts and feelings is only modestly higher—about 35% accuracy for close relationships compared to 20% for strangers. More strikingly, the confidence people have in their predictions far outstrips their actual accuracy.

In one study, couples were asked to predict each other’s responses to questions about self-worth, personal preferences, and abilities. While their actual accuracy was 44%, they believed they were correct 82% of the time. The longer couples had been together, the more confident they became—yet their actual accuracy did not improve.

Relationships Essential Reads

Trauma's Shadow Lingers in the Bedroom

The Cost of Unspoken Stories

This illusion of insight extends beyond relationships. The more familiar we become with a subject, the less likely we are to question our assumptions. As a result, we stop asking questions—not because we truly understand everything, but because we believe we do.

4. Time Pressures

Curiosity requires time and space to explore ideas, but modern life often prioritizes efficiency over inquiry. When deadlines loom and responsibilities pile up, taking the time to ask deeper questions can feel like an indulgence.

In fast-paced environments, decisions often need to be made quickly, reinforcing a habit of relying on pre-existing knowledge rather than seeking out new perspectives. Over time, this pattern conditions us to focus on immediate answers rather than open-ended exploration.

How to Reignite Your Curiosity

Reclaiming curiosity isn’t about returning to childhood; it’s about reminding – and training – our minds to stay open to discovery. Here’s how:

1. Find Curiosity Role Models

Curiosity is contagious. If we want to rediscover it in ourselves, we search for others already role modeling curiosity in their own lives.

Psychologist Susan Engel found that when teachers model curiosity, students become more curious themselves. In an experiment, an instructor introduced a science activity and either expressed curiosity about what might happen next or simply told students to tidy up. The children whose instructor modeled curiosity were far more likely to continue experimenting after she left the room, while the others did not.

Ideally our role model is a friend or colleague we can actively practice curiosity with, but it can also be a leader, artist, or public figure we don’t know personally. The important thing is that they show us what curiosity can look like and give us a sense of permission to get more curious ourselves. One of my greatest curiosity role models is Ted Lasso, who shows the power of learning through conflict, choosing curiosity over certainty, and asking others for input.

2. Treat Others as a Source of Valuable Learning

Whether or not they themselves are a model of curiosity, the people around us are an incredible subject for our reawakening curiosity. But as Ickes’ research suggests, the longer we know someone, the less likely we are to ask new questions about them.

A close friend, colleague, or family member might have changed in ways we never noticed simply because we stopped inquiring. To counter this, we can make a habit of asking deeper, open-ended questions—not just about facts, but about how others think and feel.

One simple but powerful shift is to ask yourself, “What can I learn from this person?” This question shifts our mindset from certainty to discovery, helping us stay open to new insights, even from those we think we already understand. As Bill Nye (the Science Guy) reminds us: “Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.”

3. Hold Your Own Beliefs Loosely

The biggest obstacle to curiosity is assuming we already understand something fully. The mind is wired to favor familiar patterns, making it easy to search for confirming data that reinforces our preexisting views, while overlooking gaps in our knowledge. To counter this, we can challenge our assumptions by asking, "What if I’m missing something?" Or, "What would it look like to see this from another perspective?" Or, "What else might be true?"

As technology forecaster and futurist Paul Saffo has said, we can simultaneously have strong ideas that we hold loosely. The simple act of questioning what we take for granted can release the grip of our preexisting assumptions, disrupt the illusion of certainty, and reawaken our curiosity.

What Would Happen If You Led With Curiosity?

What would happen if, for one day, you decided to lead with curiosity? Instead of reacting with certainty, skepticism, or disinterest, what if you asked just one more question than usual? What if, the next time you held a judgement or an assumption—about a person, a problem, or even yourself—you turned it into an inquiry instead?

Curiosity isn’t just for children. It’s what fuels innovation, builds deep relationships, and makes life more exciting. The choice is yours: Will you let curiosity fade, or will you reclaim it?