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After her recent wedding, Melissa dreamed repeatedly about having a baby. As she discovered, the dreams didn't signal a sudden desire for maternity. Instead, they revealed both her anxieties and her strengths in forging the relationships that come with the next phase in her life.
The Dream
I am having recurring dreams about being pregnant and giving birth to a baby girl named Lucy. My niece Molly (who is two months old) is often in the dreams too. We're always happy to have the baby.
Last night, I dreamed that Lucy was a Scorpio and that I gave birth in my childhood apartment. Two weeks ago, I had a very vivid dream about bringing baby Lucy to the zoo. My husband and I are excited to have kids one day, but we are newly married so not yet!
The Conversation
I inquired, “When you say recurring, do you mean the last few weeks, or over the last six months?"
Melissa responded, “I've had seven or eight dreams with this baby in the last three weeks. Prior to this, I never dreamed about babies at all.”
I said, "Describe your feelings in these dreams."
Melissa replied, “They're filled with joy! I'm happy, everyone around me is happy, and the babies are always very happy. It's like we're at a family event or holiday, and everyone is just in great spirits.”
“What are your associations with the name Lucy?”
Melissa reflected, “My husband and I talk about baby names all the time and Lucy is his favorite for a girl. So, Lucy reminds me of him!”
I asked, “In the dream where you gave birth in your childhood apartment, what were your feelings?”
She responded, “I was pacing around after the birth worried about the baby's astrological sign.”
I inquired, “In your dream two weeks ago, you brought your baby Lucy to the zoo. What does the zoo make you think of?”
Melissa answered, “This was the entrance to the zoo where I went almost every day growing up. My mom would pick me up from preschool and take me to the zoo to watch the sea lions get fed every afternoon. She once told me that this time period made up some of the best years of her life!
“This specific zoo doesn't have any endangered species or problematic animals that should not be in captivity (like elephants, polar bears, big cats), so it's more of a low-key zoo with just a few animals. I think any kid would love this zoo!”
In helping Melissa begin to flesh out the problem she was discussing with herself in the dream, I offered, “If this was my dream, I would look for some recent situation that involves great happiness but also has an element of anxiety. The dreams are happy, happy, happy, but there’s concern gnawing in the background.
"Is there some recent situation that started out great but then went sour?"
Melissa clicked. “I think this speaks to my wedding. My mom got Covid the day before the ceremony and had to stay home. The planning process and kick-off to the wedding were all super positive, but this development was a plot twist that went in a sour direction. She and I have worked through it together, but it was hard!"
I observed, "It seems the 'sour' twist in the plot of your wedding may have caused you to worry that it’s a 'sign' of something wrong."
"Yes. My mom and I planned the wedding together for over a year, but afterwards she wouldn't even discuss it. I think it was really painful for her, but I had to forge ahead because by the time she tested positive, we had over 100 guests who traveled into town for us.
"At the time, I didn't give her a lot of space for her own feelings because I was so sad. My mom and I are very, very close. She is my best friend, and we talk about everything — I hope this isn't a sign that we won't always be as close as we are now!"
What We Can Learn
This is a dream about change and how we come to terms with it. Lucy symbolizes the birth of the new in so many ways. We even see this message when Melissa brings Lucy to “the entrance” of the zoo; precisely where Melissa is in this new phase of her life.
Marriage marks the beginning of life as a couple, as well as a change in Melissa’s relationship with her mom. Once married, Melissa turns her focus to her spouse, as her associations with baby Lucy demonstrate.
The Covid situation at the wedding not only caused anxiety but jump-started a new dynamic where Melissa is now a married woman who "forges ahead" independently of her mother. Establishing a new balance will require talking through their feelings in order to get back to the place where the relationship is “low-key” and void of “problematic animals.”
Melissa can bring this approach to her future interactions in her marriage. As we see in her dreams, Melissa displays strength in her ability to incorporate joyfulness despite the disappointments, and challenges she will inevitably experience both in marriage and in any close relationship.
