Turning Straw Into Gold

Forgiveness

Finding the “Bliss of Blamelessness”

Toni Bernhard J.D. on August 27, 2026

A Personal Perspective: Engaging in blame means I’m in the throes of desire: the desire for the world and its people to conform to my liking. But that’s not going to happen.

A Personal Perspective: Engaging in blame means I’m in the throes of desire: the desire for the world and its people to conform to my liking. But that’s not going to happen.

Embarrassment

Learn Not to Be a Self-Inflicted Victim of Embarrassment

Toni Bernhard J.D. on May 29, 2026

Embarrassment is an emotional response to an innocent mistake. Many are embarrassment-prone because they've set unrealistically high standards for themselves that they can't meet.

Embarrassment is an emotional response to an innocent mistake. Many are embarrassment-prone because they've set unrealistically high standards for themselves that they can't meet.

Chronic Illness

What Tired and Fatigued Really Mean to the Chronically Ill

Toni Bernhard J.D. on February 27, 2026

Being "tired" and "fatigued" means something entirely different to the chronically ill. Several good night's sleep does not make us feel better.

Being "tired" and "fatigued" means something entirely different to the chronically ill. Several good night's sleep does not make us feel better.

Chronic Illness

How Invisible Chronic Illness Adds an Extra Burden to Life

Toni Bernhard J.D. on November 29, 2025

Personal Perspective: I live with the extra burden of looking healthy. I’m one among millions of people who live every day with sickness and or pain that is invisible.

Personal Perspective: I live with the extra burden of looking healthy. I’m one among millions of people who live every day with sickness and or pain that is invisible.

Self-Help

How Cultivating Equanimity Can Change Your Life

Toni Bernhard J.D. on August 31, 2025

Equanimity refers to a mind that is calm and steady in difficult situations—a mind that's flexible enough to maintain evenness of temper in stressful and unpleasant situations.

Equanimity refers to a mind that is calm and steady in difficult situations—a mind that's flexible enough to maintain evenness of temper in stressful and unpleasant situations.

Mindfulness

How to Find the Peaceful Silence Between Your Thoughts

Toni Bernhard J.D. on June 3, 2025

It's self-compassionate to look for the silences between thoughts. It's a break from discursive thinking. It's a moment of calmness and restfulness that our minds sorely need.

It's self-compassionate to look for the silences between thoughts. It's a break from discursive thinking. It's a moment of calmness and restfulness that our minds sorely need.

Habit Formation

Why So Many of Our Habits Are a Source of Suffering

Toni Bernhard J.D. on April 1, 2025

A Personal Perspective: The key to peace of mind is to stop tying our happiness to fulfilling our desires and, instead, shift our attention to being present.

A Personal Perspective: The key to peace of mind is to stop tying our happiness to fulfilling our desires and, instead, shift our attention to being present.

Brain Fog

How to Cope With "Brain Fog" When You're Sick or in Pain

Toni Bernhard J.D. on January 6, 2025

Personal Perspective: Chronic pain and illness are often accompanied by cognitive difficulties known as “brain fog,” characterized by an inability to focus or remember things.

Personal Perspective: Chronic pain and illness are often accompanied by cognitive difficulties known as “brain fog,” characterized by an inability to focus or remember things.

Chronic Pain

6 Guidelines to Live by if You’re Chronically Ill or in Pain

Toni Bernhard J.D. on October 10, 2024

Personal Perspective: What happened to me was one of the conditions of being alive. There was no reason to blame myself or feel guilty.

Personal Perspective: What happened to me was one of the conditions of being alive. There was no reason to blame myself or feel guilty.

Gratitude

Appreciating the Kindness of Strangers

Toni Bernhard J.D. on July 29, 2024

Many strangers have been kind to me over the years, but one incident from decades ago is still vivid in my mind.

Many strangers have been kind to me over the years, but one incident from decades ago is still vivid in my mind.

Stress

How to React Skillfully to Unpleasant Experiences

Toni Bernhard J.D. on May 23, 2024

A Personal Perspective: Unpleasant experiences are impermanent. We can even hasten their departure by not feeding them unrealistic and stressful stories.

A Personal Perspective: Unpleasant experiences are impermanent. We can even hasten their departure by not feeding them unrealistic and stressful stories.

Mindfulness

4 Ways to Tame Our "Wanting Mind"

Toni Bernhard J.D. on February 7, 2024

A Personal Perspective: Most people are well acquainted with the experience of wanting more than they need. We can tame that wanting mind—the mind of our desires and cravings.

A Personal Perspective: Most people are well acquainted with the experience of wanting more than they need. We can tame that wanting mind—the mind of our desires and cravings.

Happiness

The Best Way to Handle Regret

Toni Bernhard J.D. on November 7, 2023

One thing I feel certain of is that living in the past is the road to sadness and anger, not the road to happiness.

One thing I feel certain of is that living in the past is the road to sadness and anger, not the road to happiness.

Chronic Illness

What It’s Like to Live With an Invisible Illness

Toni Bernhard J.D. on August 15, 2023

People with invisible physical or mental illnesses often say they live in a parallel universe. I’ve lived in this “universe” for over 22 years now.

People with invisible physical or mental illnesses often say they live in a parallel universe. I’ve lived in this “universe” for over 22 years now.

Chronic Pain

22 Tips From 22 Years Sick

Toni Bernhard J.D. on May 30, 2023

A Personal Perspective: I can’t overemphasize the importance of “pre-emptive rest.” It means resting before you think you need to.

A Personal Perspective: I can’t overemphasize the importance of “pre-emptive rest.” It means resting before you think you need to.

Depression

What to Do When the Blues Settle In

Toni Bernhard J.D. on May 5, 2023

A Personal Perspective: Sometimes, I wake up to find that the blues have settled in for no apparent reason. Here are five strategies for weathering them.

A Personal Perspective: Sometimes, I wake up to find that the blues have settled in for no apparent reason. Here are five strategies for weathering them.

Loneliness

You Can Be Alone Without Being Lonely

Toni Bernhard J.D. on March 29, 2023

A Personal Perspective: Being alone in and of itself is neither positive nor negative. It is simply a fact that describes many people’s lives.

A Personal Perspective: Being alone in and of itself is neither positive nor negative. It is simply a fact that describes many people’s lives.

Stress

Disability and Equanimity Need Not Be Mutually Exclusive

Toni Bernhard J.D. on February 27, 2023

A Personal Perspective: Equanimity refers to a mind that is calm and at ease even in the face of stressful and unpleasant experiences.

A Personal Perspective: Equanimity refers to a mind that is calm and at ease even in the face of stressful and unpleasant experiences.

Chronic Pain

How to Cope with Holiday Blues When Your Health Is Poor

Toni Bernhard J.D. on December 17, 2022

Personal Perspective: Those with chronic pain and illness want to participate in seasonal celebrations, but their ability to do so is limited and this can be emotionally painful.

Personal Perspective: Those with chronic pain and illness want to participate in seasonal celebrations, but their ability to do so is limited and this can be emotionally painful.

Chronic Illness

4 Things People With Chronic Illness Wish Everyone Else Understood

Toni Bernhard J.D. on December 6, 2022

A Personal Perspective: It’s hard to respond skillfully to the emotional pain of feeling misunderstood, yet it’s a challenge the chronically ill face at almost every turn.

A Personal Perspective: It’s hard to respond skillfully to the emotional pain of feeling misunderstood, yet it’s a challenge the chronically ill face at almost every turn.