Career
What You Need to Know About Sensitive Strivers
Could you be one?
Posted July 26, 2021 Reviewed by Devon Frye
A "sensitive striver" is a high-achiever who is also more sensitive to their emotions, the world, and the behavior of those around them. Sensitive strivers are a category of highly sensitive people (HSPs), meaning they naturally process information more deeply than their less-sensitive peers. Sensitive strivers are driven to succeed and give their 100 percent to everything they do—all with an inner world on overdrive.
I coined the term "sensitive striver" after a decade of researching and coaching top performers at companies like Google, Facebook, Netflix, Visa, Verizon, and many others. I discovered that the intersection of high sensitivity and achievement leads to a particular set of challenges—everything from struggles with imposter syndrome and confidence to difficulties setting boundaries, speaking up, and beyond.
If this resonates with you, then welcome. You’re in exactly the right place.
As a sensitive striver, you may sometimes feel demoralized by the high expectations you place on yourself, leading to overthinking minor situations. You may also be prone to emotional overwhelm. Being highly attuned to your emotions, your environment, and the behavior of others can be the key to success, but it can also lead to overthinking everything and burnout.
Common workplace situations like getting feedback, giving a presentation, or even deciding what to eat for lunch are more challenging for the highly sensitive than they are for less sensitive people. HSPs and sensitive strivers face a daily battle with stress and self-doubt and crave a sense of control and calm, like my client Kelly did. (Kelly's name has been changed.)
Story of a Sensitive Striver
Kelly’s job was killing her spirit.
When she started as social services director at a large county agency, she’d been excited to lead a team and take her career to the next level. The agency’s mission fueled her. All her mentors said that she was perfectly positioned to quickly step into a VP role.
But, due to budget shortfalls and changes in management, Kelly’s team had been short-staffed for the past three years, which left Kelly to pick up the slack. In addition, she had an absentee manager.
At first, she didn’t mind. She took pride in being the go-to person. But over time, the demands on Kelly’s energy and mind became too much. Her hair began to fall out and she battled migraines daily. Kelly was always glued to her phone and answering emails, including during family dinners. She felt distracted and worried about the office, even while playing with her young daughter.
Kelly knew she needed to say “no,” delegate, and stop taking so much on. But instead, she told herself to “work harder—you’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
Before long, she had to take a medical leave from her job. She finally decided to seek help.
Burnout, like Kelly's, is common among sensitive strivers. They are so loyal to other people at times that they blindly pursue more achievement without ever stopping to define what makes them happy.
What Being a Sensitive Striver Is—and Is Not
"Sensitive striver" might sound like just another way to describe a perfectionist, overachiever, or introvert. But those terms do not adequately describe the unique struggles sensitive strivers face.
For instance: You can be a perfectionist and not be highly accomplished in your career. You can also be an “overachiever” (defined as someone who performs better or achieves more success than expected) without feeling paralyzed by mistakes (perfectionism).
So, Are You a Sensitive Striver?
If you relate to most of the statements below, then you may be a sensitive striver:
- You experience emotions to an unusual level of depth and complexity. You may cry easily from both sadness and happiness.
- You’ve been called “intense” or “too much” because of your relentless pursuit of achievement or desire to be the best.
- You’ve always had a keen ability to sense others’ feelings, needs, or insecurities, which may result in people-pleasing versus considering your own needs.
- You struggle to “turn off” from work mode and it can feel like there are 100 tabs open in your brain at all times.
- You’re a stickler for details and highly organized, but you can get too caught up in being meticulous. You may never feel like work is complete.
- You know intellectually that most feedback is no big deal, but one negative comment can leave you feeling terrible for days as you analyze and try to interpret the information.
- You’re deliberate and need time to think before you act. This means you excel at strategy and planning — if you can move past overthinking.
- You try to prepare for every eventuality, but if you’re caught off-guard in a meeting or conversation, you may get easily overstimulated and question how to respond.
- You’re able to sense conflict often before others are even aware of it, making you a master at empathetic communication. However, your constant vigilance can be draining.
How Being a Sensitive Striver Can Be a Strength
Thinking and feeling deeply isn’t a defect. When channeled productively, it can be your career superpower. The research proves it: Managers consistently rate people with higher sensitivity as their top contributors. That’s because sensitive strivers are thoughtful, conscientious, empathetic, and dedicated—which make them ideal employees and leaders.
Kelly reflected and realized her actions were preventing her from pursuing opportunities that better fit her true nature and financial goals. She put into practice quieting her inner dialogue, regulating her emotions, and learning how to speak up and push back. Within a few months of returning to work, she received a promotion and was honored as a top manager at the company.
As Kelly’s story shows, once you better understand how your built-in sensitivities shape the way you see yourself and approach your career, you can channel your qualities as strengths and not self-sabotage.
