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Why Do We Hate?

What is it all about?

Haters, haters everywhere!   Why is there so much hate still floating around in the collective consciousness, when we have evolved so much in so many other areas? 

In America many years ago, we began to create laws, which were meant to protect the civil rights of African Americans.  All these many years later there are still shootings, and riots and bigotry and hatred all over the streets of America.  Why is that?  Well, it’s pretty obvious that laws can’t dictate the human psyche.  We put the laws into effect, but people still hate. 

Only recently have laws begun to be put on the books about GLBT issues, so that while gays, lesbians and bisexuals can now marry in all 50 states, transgendered persons still can’t go into the appropriate bathrooms in some.  And there are still very few laws that actually protect the GLBT person from getting fired for being GLBT.  We have a long way to go here and the hate is still rampant. 

Andrea Mathews
Source: Andrea Mathews

But why do we hate?  And why, in particular, do we hate difference?  Hate of a whole race of people; hate of a whole set of people of certain sexual orientations or gender identities; that kind of hate is projection.  I’m insecure in myself, in my identification with my culture, in my sexual orientation, in my gender—so I project hatred onto you because I’m not real sure that if I don’t, I won’t hate myself. 

So, here’s the thing about hate of difference:  It says everything about the hater, and nothing about the hated. 

Projection means that I’ve got some work to do on myself to become a whole person.  Projection means that I’ve split myself off into compartments of consciousness and unconsciousness, so that I don’t know things that I don’t want to know about myself—and I project those things onto others for them to carry for me.  Projection means that I need to become conscious of those things I’m repressing so that I can own them, and begin to cherish them as unique and meaningful aspects of a whole me. 

Hate of difference is projection. 

We become conscious of what we are projecting by pulling back the projection and owning it.  Catching ourselves hating difference means that we become conscious that we are being completely irrational about difference.  How is it possible that I could hate an entire race without even knowing them at all?  How is it possible that I could hate—with all the energy that hate calls for—all of the GLBT people in the world, without ever even knowing one of them?  This is utterly illogical. 

Hate insists itself upon the world because and only because it refuses to become conscious.  Becoming conscious then is the braver act for it means that I can look at myself honestly and ask myself why I am so very afraid of difference that I have to hate it.  I might discover uncertainties, insecurities and dark parts of myself that can become useful to me in some very profound ways if I am willing to take back my projections and work with them long enough to hear their messages to me.  Thusly will I overcome my insecurities, learn to live with mystery, and begin to love myself fully.   Then I will have no need whatsoever for hate. 

So, all you haters out there:  Wake up.  This is really all about YOU.