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Seven Principles for Recovering from Trauma

The third conversation with Jungian therapist and rabbi Tirzah Firestone.

Dsyrengelas/Creative Commons 3.0
Source: Dsyrengelas/Creative Commons 3.0

Today, we speak with Rabbi Dr. Tirzah Firestone for another information-packed discussion. (See “Inherited Wounds: Tirzah Firestone on Ancestral Healing” and “Recognizing and Healing Inherited Trauma” for earlier posts).

Firestone is a Jungian analyst, rabbi, and the daughter of Holocaust survivors, whose research is on recovery from trauma, including the mechanisms of inherited trauma. In the new revised edition of her book, Wounds into Wisdom, Firestone draws on the latest findings in neuroscience and psychology, interweaving them with compelling stories of trauma and healing, to offer readers hope, understanding, and the means to discover how suffering can be transformative.

Tirzah Firestone/Used with permission
Source: Tirzah Firestone/Used with permission

Dale Kushner: There is a lot of new biology that's changing how we think about health, lifespan, trauma, and genetic inheritance. Your book explains this in an accessible way. Please give us an overview.

Tirzah Firestone: There is a lot of fascinating research. The last 10 years have given us much more insight into the growing field of epigenetics, which studies the effect of life’s stresses on our genes’ activities.

We used to think that our genes were the major determinant of our health, our lifespan, the diseases we would get, and more. Now we know that our genes are incredibly responsive. They answer to the environment in which we live. Depending on our stressors, there are a host of epigenetic mechanisms that turn our genes on or off. Scientists call this gene expression.

For example, if you are living through a war, or have lost your home, or a parent dies, or some other traumatic life event is occurring, your genes will adjust to these environmental stressors by means of epigenetic mechanisms that act on (epi means upon or above) the chromosomes. They tell the genes what to do.

Epigenetics draws on clinical studies with mice and rats, demonstrating that stress and struggle can imprint not only on us but on future generations. Early nurturing patterns by the mother, for instance, have been shown to pass to grand-pups and great-grand-pups, even when they had never interacted.

In a study from Emory University,1 mice were exposed to a sweet smell, acetophenone, and then received an electric shock to their feet. Associating the two, whenever the mice encountered the smell, they became fearful and froze. Amazingly, their offspring—even the grand-pups who had never met their grandparents or been exposed to the smell or shock—showed panic in the presence of the smell.

These offer evidence for what many of us have been intuiting for a long time, that stressors and traumas experienced by our ancestors influence us, say in our resilience or lack thereof, several generations later.

But epigenetics also speaks to the impact of socioeconomic stressors on entire ethnic groups. Moshe Szyf, a prolific epigeneticist, shows how gene expression differs among those who grow up well-off vs. those who grow up disadvantaged, making the latter group more vulnerable to a host of diseases and shortened life spans.2

Rasal Hague/CC 4.0
Source: Rasal Hague/CC 4.0

DK: Your own research is on recovery from trauma. Tell us about this study and its findings.

TF: My study was on Jewish people from around the world who had gone through extreme traumas such as war, racial and religious discrimination, the loss of a child to terrorism, and such. My focus was on those who were able to go through the many stages of healing and integration and come out transformed by their traumas.

I discovered strong common denominators among all of them. But there is no one formula for trauma healing. Every one of us has a unique trajectory for our healing. My 30 years of experience in the healing field tell me that human beings are intrinsically primed for healing. We get directives from the inside that tell us what we need to do to work through our traumas and come back into full life.

DK: Can you share the seven principles that emerged from your research?

TF: These are common denominators that I found in my research subjects who thrived again after their tragedies, having transformed their lives.

  1. Facing the loss
    More than anything, directly facing our losses initiates the process of healing. This first principle means resisting our friends’ well-intentioned urges to get back to work or “get on with life.” We must give ourselves the gift of time and ride the waves of pain.
  2. Harnessing our pain
    Once we face our losses, we may encounter intense pain. Because trauma disconnects us from our bodies, there’s a tendency to numb out. The alternative is to re-inhabit our physical selves. Physical exercise and self-care are paramount. The pain made conscious can turn into fuel.
  3. Finding new community
    We may find ourselves changed by our trauma, and there is no going back to how we used to be. We have to find people who understand us. Because traumatic experiences often leave us with a sense of shame or isolation, finding authentic connections with people who can hear and hold us compassionately is essential. The people I worked with felt a need to build a new social network, to find other like-minded people.
  4. Resisting fear, blame, and dehumanization
    Unprocessed trauma can leave us permanently defensive. The human tendency to other people around us is the obvious next step. But that leaves us isolated, self-righteous, and lonely. Those who do the hard work of healing their traumas succeed in melting the walls of separation and resisting hatred for those who hurt them.
  5. Disidentifying from victimhood
    One of the main keys to trauma recovery is agency, the inner sense that we are in charge of our own lives, and we can shape outcomes.
  6. Redefining specialness
    One of the legacies of trauma can be the feeling that we are different, alone, and separate. But these feelings can flip into their opposites: feeling special, chosen, superior, for what we have gone through. One of the most important takeaways from trauma healing is that human beings are interdependent and that our healing depends on one another.
  7. Taking action
    Trauma recovery means facing what has happened directly and deeply mourning our losses. For each person, there is internal timing, some kind of work or meaningful action in the world emerges.
Pixy/CC0 Public Domain
Source: Pixy/CC0 Public Domain

DK: Do you have any special advice for readers at this time of year?

TF: Holidays can be a particularly challenging time of year, especially for those who are raw from losses and traumatic upheaval. We are often bombarded by family or lack of family, outward cheer that doesn’t match our inner felt sense and so many distractions that pull us out of our own inner experience. Take alone time to feel your feelings, journal, take walks, move your energy to let off steam, and avoid excesses like sugar, alcohol, or recreational drugs that do not ground you. The main point: This is the time for doubling down on self-care. Stay in touch with yourself and lead with self-compassion.


1. Dias, B. G. and Ressler, K. J. (March, 2014). “Parental olfactory experience influences behavior and neural structure in subsequent generations.” Nature Neuroscience 17:89-96

2. Nada Borghol, Moshe Szyf, et al., “Associations with Early-Life Socio-Economic Position in Adult DNA Methylation,” International Journal of Epidemiology 41, no. 1 (February 2012): 62-74

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