How to Add Unnecessary Stress to Your Life

There are times when almost everyone can feel that they are under considerable stress and wish that some of it would disappear. I know this happens to me. I started to think about how I might be increasing the stress on myself by engaging in self-defeating thoughts and ideas, being somewhat grandiose (not me of course), or by continuing to do things that need not be done. I started to make a list of ways that many people might be adding to their own stress and was surprised to find that I could list 21 things. You can probably think of other actions and attitudes that rev up your stress.

1. Have murky goals so that you do not know what your priorities are or can work to achieve your goal(s).
2. Feel unappreciated so that you are wasting time trying to get that appreciation, but mostly not succeeding.
3. Try to live by unrealistic standards and demands for yourself and/or for others, such as trying to achieve perfection.
4. Associate only with people who you think are like you so that you are trying to meet their expectations and values.
5. Excessively rely on others for help, support, affirmation and other things that you could do for yourself.
6. Avoid self-reflection, introspection, and critical self-examination. Resisting this can produce stress.
7. Become angry or irritated and find it difficult to relinquish the feeling.
8. Easily tap into your guilt and/or shame and find that this happens frequently.
9. Expect favors from others, but are often disappointed.
10. Tend to dither, ruminate, or obsess over even trivial or minor things.
11. Keep doing the same thing that does not work, but still expect different results and find that you are continually disappointed.
12. Keep your spaces disorganized that includes your work space, living space, car interior, thoughts, and/or you do not declutter often enough.
13. Do not let any distractions get in the way of your worry.
14. Work mostly to please someone else.
15. Frequently panic.
16. Worry about intangibles and events or people that are not under your control.
17. Constantly look at or listen to the news.
18. Try to change another person.
19. You do not have any pastimes, hobbies, or the like that you engage with frequently or even every day.
20. Over indulge, such as in eating, or drinking, or gambling.
21. Over commit your time and effort that is, you take on too much.

Any of these can add to your stress. Even if you engage in a few of these, think of how you may feel better if you could eliminate just one.