Don't Let Anyone Ruin Your Night
Do you ever say to yourself or hear others say,
Posted Nov 23, 2009
Let's now take that lesson and apply it to a specific situation. Imagine you go to a party with your significant other. Upon returning from the restroom, you walk up to your significant other who seems engrossed in a conversation with people you don't know. You stand there quietly and wait to be introduced. He doesn't do it. At that moment you start to notice your heart beating a little faster, the muscles in your back starting to tighten, and sadness is setting in as you slowly sip your drink and scan the room for an exit strategy. Lots of thoughts are going through your mind like: "He's so rude", "I don't matter", and "I'm not important." Your button's been pushed and the theme in all these thoughts is tied directly to your doubt of being desirable.
Don't just let your button get pushed without checking it out. You have options and multiple strategies for doing this. The first thing you can do is examine your thoughts by asking yourself what facts, not feelings or interpretations, you have to support or throw out those thoughts. Remember life has no place for assumptions. Second, ask yourself what some other possibilities might be aside from those thoughts. For example, your significant other always has a hard time remembering names or he didn't know their names or he was waiting for a good time to introduce you to the group without interrupting anyone. Third, think about what you would tell a friend if she was going through this exact situation in order to help you gain some objectivity. Fourth, recognize that you can take action and feel free to introduce yourself or join in on the conversation. Fifth, make a pledge to yourself that you are in charge of your thoughts, moods, body responses, and actions rather than letting others regulate them. Last, stamp out self-doubt by knowing your triggers, in this case a social situation, and not letting the inaccurate doubt cripple you from recognizing all the wonderful qualities you bring to each situation.