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Preface: At the beginning of this academic year, Eliza Stucker (brief bio below), shared the following poem during the opening gathering for our doctoral program in Health Service Psychology. It was moving and created a powerful atmosphere that cultivated a strong sense of connection and purpose, while holding appreciation for each individual. As such, I invited Eliza to share this on my blog so that others might benefit from it.
I happy to share the poem below with readers on Psychology Today (the author is anonymous). I was introduced to it several years ago in my pastoral counseling Masters program. Ever since I have found myself returning to it, as it offers a reminder to move away from reactivity and towards a responsive stance characterized by empathy and connection to other people. As a therapist (now in doctorate-level training), it makes me feel grateful because many of the stories that people hold internally come out in the sacred moments of therapy. I deeply appreciate the fact that I get to know my clients on an intimate level, and they experience healing in being vulnerable while also being able to feel safe enough to be known and cared for.
On a societal level, this poem seems necessary for these polarizing times. For me, it serves as a reminder that everyone has a load that they're carrying. Often, we are holding burdens on the inside and aren't always aware of the ways in which these burdens are coming out in snippy comments, gossip, or frustration with strangers or even loved ones in our lives. It is even easier to overlook the fact that the people around us share many of our own struggles, even if this isn’t always immediately apparent from transient, superficial encounters. The spirit of the poem is in line with my spiritual practice to be more open, loving, and curious towards others. This poem is in many ways a symbol of what's missing in our current culture--the understanding that we all belong to one another and are all working with internal wounds. No one person is perfect or lacks imperfection. Rather, we are all working towards something and some days are better than others. This poem helps me approach myself and the people I am around with a level of gentleness, and I hope it helps the readers do the same!
The Person Next To You*
Look around you…
Who are the people sitting next to you?
The people next to you…
are the greatest miracles you will ever meet at this moment
– and the greatest mysteries.
The people next to you…
have an inexhaustible reservoir of possibilities,
which have only partially been touched.
The people next to you…
are a unique universe of experience
seething with necessity and possibility,
dread and desire, smiles and frowns,
laughter and tears, fears and hopes –
all struggling to find expression.
The people next to you…
… are surging to become something,
… to arrive at some destination,
… to have a story and a song,
… to be known and to know.
The people next to you…
… believe in something,
… stand for something,
… count for something,
… labor for something,
… wait for something,
… wait for something,
… run from something,
… run towards something.
The people next to you…
… are more than any description,
… are more than any explanation,
… are more, much, much more.
The people next to you…
are searching…
… for meaning,
… for inner-peace,
… for self-esteem,
… for something they already have
… they just have to realize that.
The people next to you…
have problems and fears,
… just like you,
… are often undecided,
… but are endowed with great toughness in the face of adversity
and are able to survive the most unbelievable
difficulties and challenges.
The people next to you…
… are combinations of people
met during all of their lifetimes.
The people next to you…
have something they can do better than anyone else in the world,
have strengths they do not even recognize,
need to talk to you about those abilities,
need you to listen,
but do they dare speak them to you?
The people next to you…
… need a friend,
… want to be a friend,
… can comfort you,
… care for you,
… understand you,
… and love you.
Isn’t that what you want?
It’s what they want.
The people next to you…
are special human beings
… and so are you!
You will want to get to know these people.
Author Unknown*...
*I have searched for the author but was unable to locate that information. If anyone does know who the author is, please contact Dr. Gregg Henriques at henriqgx@jmu.edu, and we will update this blog. [We have since been notified that the author may be Prissy Galagarian].
Eliza Stucker is a Psy.D. doctoral student at James Madison University in Harrisonburg, Virginia. She received her Master of Arts in Pastoral Counseling and Master of Divinity from Loyola University Chicago. She is interested in the intersection of psychotherapy with spirituality in addressing therapeutic change processes, most especially within the context of treating personality disorders in adult clientele.
